Many people leave the countryside for the greater opportunities which are offered by cities. This move is not without disadvantages for both people and the environment. What are some benefits and drawbacks of urbanization

The issue of urbanization has been a disputatious and contentious matter recently. It has been argued that some individuals leave the countryside for better chances which are offered by cities.
Therefore
, I tend to believe that both the benefits and drawbacks need to be examined in depth. On the one hand, there are some main advantages of modern cities.
firstly
, they are much more comfortable and easier to live in.
In other words
, they obtain a wide range of services including transportation, education, houses and medical services. Not only that but they can
also
offer some job opportunities leading to an increase in production capacity and the country's income.
Secondly
, some people immigrate from the village for entertainment
such
as visiting museums and architectural feats.
On the other hand
, as the garden has weeds, certain disadvantages should be taken into consideration. The most evident one is crimes. To illustrate, the presence of a large number of people with a lot of money to spend increases the attraction of criminals.
Furthermore
, the country will be insecure for people. Another wide drawback is pollution
due to
using various types of transportation
such
as cars, trains or buses.
In addition
to suffering from health problems
such
as asthma and lung cancer
due to
emission
Correct article usage
the emission
show examples
of gasses and fuels. In conclusion, I point out that urbanization plays an integral role in enhancing society and the country's outcome. In my point of view, I think that the merits outweigh the established demerits. I hope the government can raise awareness towards the hazards of modern cities.
Submitted by saroooniiq8 on

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task achievement
Try to develop ideas more comprehensively and include more specific examples to support the points you make.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses clearly on one main idea, and build transitions more smoothly between paragraphs for better logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly set the stage and summarize the discussion.
task achievement
Good identification of both advantages and disadvantages of urbanization.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • employment prospects
  • quality of life
  • cultural exposure
  • environmental degradation
  • overcrowding
  • pollution
  • strain on resources
  • cost of living
  • financial benefits
  • rural communities
  • local economies
  • migration
  • essential services
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