All eduction and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
A significant number of people out there hold the perception that schools
as well as
healthcare delivery should be supported by the state and should be accessible to everyone without any charge. Linking Words
This
essay shall vehemently endorse Linking Words
this
development and will Linking Words
further
bring to bear the reasons for Linking Words
this
occurrence in the following paragraphs after which a logical conclusion will be drawn.
Linking Words
To begin
with, there are a myriad of reasons why Linking Words
government
should be fully responsible Add an article
the government
in
funding not only Change preposition
for
in
education but Change preposition
apply
also
Linking Words
in
health but one which is worth mentioning is that it will Change preposition
apply
dwindle
Verb problem
reduce
Correct article usage
the deaths
deaths
rate. Because some people do not have money to seek Change the noun form
death
for
medical care in accredited hospitals, they end up attending Change preposition
apply
to
unqualified physicians Change preposition
apply
as a result
, their conditions become more complicated. A plethora of people have now developed Linking Words
an
Correct article usage
apply
end stage
diseases Add a hyphen
end-stage
such
as kidney Linking Words
as well as
heart failure because of lack of funds which put them to seek Linking Words
for
unprofessional doctors Change preposition
apply
hence
leading to Linking Words
high
death ratio. Correct article usage
a high
However
, if the state Linking Words
make
accessing a medical Change the verb form
makes
check up
free, a lot of Correct your spelling
checkup
individual
will develop the habit of visiting Change to a plural noun
individuals
such
places which will Linking Words
subsequently
decrease immortality. Linking Words
For instance
, the Ministry of Health in Ghana conducted Linking Words
a
research and figured out that seventy per cent of immortality is Remove the article
apply
Linking Words
as
a result of Change preposition
apply
lack
of revenue to seek Correct article usage
a lack
for
proper medical Change preposition
apply
check up
.
Correct your spelling
check-ups
Moreover
, supporting education and making it free will reduce Linking Words
crime
rate. If a country Add an article
the crime
allow
its youth to Change the verb form
allows
enroll
in schools without any charge, Change the spelling
enrol
then
undoubtedly it will increase the number of youngsters in schooling thereby reducing folk from unscrupulous activities Linking Words
such
as armed robbery and prostitution. To explain Linking Words
this
scenario, Ghana was battling with Linking Words
high
rate of crime a decade ago, Add an article
a high
the high
by contrast
after implementing free senior high education, its crime has reduced because a lot of the youth have Linking Words
involved
in it. In view of Add a missing verb
been involved
this
, Ghana's economy is currently upsurging. Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
crowd
become confident when interacting with friends as it helps decline illiteracy.
In conclusion, after analyzing Correct article usage
the crowd
this
development, I strongly believe that authorities should make access to schools and hospitals free because it helps not only dwindling immortality but Linking Words
also
Linking Words
prevent
teenagers from unscrupulous activities. In view of Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
this
, I opine that governments of various countries should establish more Linking Words
seconday
institutions Correct your spelling
secondary
as well as
hospitals for its citizens.Linking Words
Submitted by mboadi211 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates some level of control over organizational structures, but there's considerable room for improvement in ensuring that paragraphs flow naturally; paragraphing seems mechanical, with each new idea presented in a new paragraph without skillful transitions to guide the reader. Work on using a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing appropriately so that each idea logically extends from the preceding ones, and ensure your introduction and conclusion are more clearly defined and impactful.
task achievement
You have addressed the question to a fair extent and provided examples to support your arguments. However, the development of ideas is uneven, and some examples could be more directly relevant and detailed. Ensure that the question is fully addressed by exploring all aspects in a balanced way, providing specific and pertinent examples, and by wrapping up your arguments conclusively in your conclusion. This will help in raising your task achievement score.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?