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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #research #business #world #information
Everyone agrees on the fact that
data
 has been one of the crucial topics for states and their nations for years. A group of individuals thinks that the
information
 which clarifies current developments must spread because it can be a key factor for health, education and the economy. The other group of society believe that the majority of
data
 must be found in a latent place and with
this
 idea they think that the governments maintain their growth smoothly. I totally agree latter opinion. In the following parts, I will try to explain why I am a supporter of that view.
To begin
 with, It can be clearly seen that developed countries in our world try to make everything about learning various and crucial scientific
information
 for their aims which give their community a well-being lifestyle.
For instance
 the USA and the UK . These unions know that, on the condition that you have a benefit
data
 for the future of the world, they could establish life systems far better,
thus
, they conceal academic
information
 in formal areas
then
 they set rules and regulations for journalists who want to find
this
 confidential
informationand
Correct your spelling
information and
 it is
this
 way have ensured that their lands are more sufficient more than their rivals.
Nonetheless
, a part of society seems to have not same awareness . The reports of specialists show that forty-two individuals in every hundred believe
that
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the correlation between the dissemination of knowledge and the increase of young and dynamic brains. They support that providing these brains reach changing pieces of
information
, that contribution to different titles can build enormous systems is undeniable for the world.
However
, From my perspective , specific people groups have traits so as to work in the highest position.
As a consequence
, they can find banned or hidden
data
 as they want.
To sum up
, An argument of the a few groups ;
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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 attaining
information
 freely is that sustain to development is better.
An
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 opinion of part of the community is every piece of
information
 about critical topics can be crucial for the future of the countries.
for
Capitalize word
For
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this
 reason every individual should not
accees
Correct your spelling
access
 some
information
 and the
authorites
Correct your spelling
authorities
 can apply laws for
this
. For the causes I mentioned above , I am in the latter group.
Submitted by ezgi.maide.213 on

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logical structure
Be sure to structure your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are present and they mirror each other, establishing your opinion clearly and summarizing the main points made in your essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with clear explanations or examples to demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic. Avoid making generalized or unclear statements.
complete response
Address all parts of the task fully. It's crucial to analyze both views and clearly present your own opinion to fulfill the requirements of the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on articulating your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Choose your words carefully and focus on expressing your thoughts in a direct and precise manner.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant examples to support your arguments. Tailor them specifically to the question asked and integrate them smoothly into your discussion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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