IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

14.With computers and the Internet, people can study and work without going to school or a company. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#computers #internet #people #study #work #school #company
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Nowadays some folk think that
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 is a great
way
Use synonyms
 to study and job from home or, work on a desktop rather than going out to study and task. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will explain the advantages and disadvantages related to
this
Linking Words
 subject and try to draw a conclusion as well.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
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 is the greatest invention that happened in the past few years. It affected the
way
Use synonyms
 of studying and doing research and improved the quality of learning. On the one hand, online learning provides immense changes in the
way
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 of learning and gives us a better perspective
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
reading and learning.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the greatest advantage of online learning and working is to shorten the travelling time and it gives the workers more flexibility in their lives.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 us to reduce the financial expenses per month, if we reduce the travelling expenses.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is a better
way
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 to maintain a work-life balance.
For Instance
Linking Words
, in COVID-19, people were studying and working from home
due to
Linking Words
 the help of the latest technology and supporting and maintaining the economic and educational balance as well in the country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 has some negative impacts
of
Change preposition
on
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 remote studying and working
on
Change preposition
in
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 public. Because of hiding behind the screen, they have a lack of face-to-face interaction and they
also
Linking Words
 potential for decreased discipline.Travelling to work and working in an office with others can be a very sociable activity which many public enjoy, especially if they live on their own. Without
this
Linking Words
 social interaction, many society might feel very lonely, it is similar to the children as well.
While
Linking Words
 remote study and
endeavor
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endeavour
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 offer convenience, they may not suit all disciplines or job roles. Some fields require practical, hands-on experience
that is
Linking Words
 difficult to replicate online.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the 2020 students and employees started to feel less confident during offline presentations, as compared to online presentations. In my opinion, the possible solutions to bridge the gap are encouraging a hybrid model that combines the strengths of both in-person and remote engagement, improving digital literacy, and investing in technology infrastructure. Its idea will
also
Linking Words
 support the equal balance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online and offline life.
Submitted by Vanurajput22 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly address the essay question, the body paragraphs should each have a main idea and supporting details, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your arguments and position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas and paragraphs, but be cautious not to overuse them. Your essay should flow logically from one point to the next, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
Task Achievement
Develop each of your main points fully, providing evidence, examples, and explanations. Show a comprehensive understanding of the topic by discussing multiple perspectives and providing a well-rounded view of the issue.
Task Achievement
Make sure that your essay directly responds to the question and that every paragraph contributes to your overall argument or analysis. Stay focused on the topic throughout the essay and avoid deviating from the main subject.
Task Achievement
Use examples that are relevant and specific to the argument you are making. While you provided examples in your essay, they could be further developed to strengthen your points and make your argument more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Flexibility
  • Accessibility
  • Customization
  • Work-life balance
  • Remote assessments
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Discipline
  • Collaboration
  • Isolation
  • Hands-on experience
  • Technological divide
  • Digital literacy
  • Hybrid model
  • Infrastructure
What to do next:
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