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Band 6.5

The three charts below show the value in Australian dollars of Australian trade with three different countries from 2004 to 2009.

The three charts below show the value in Australian dollars of Australian trade with three different countries from 2004 to 2009.
#three #show #value #australian #dollars #trade #countries
The line graphs compare the total expenditure and
revenue
 on trading activities between Australia, China, Japan, and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States for five consecutive years.
Overall
, Australia had the highest
revenue
 from its transaction with Japan,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 the highest expenses came from the imported commodities from the United States. In 2004,
Correct article usage
the Australia
show examples
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 government allocated around 18
billion
 A$ for importing goods from China,
while
received
Wrong verb form
receiving
show examples
 in return for about 12
billion
 A$ through selling their goods to China. The number gradually increased, until in 2008 crossed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar amount
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 30
billion
 A$ just before the expenses for imported things
went
Verb problem
apply
show examples
plateau
Wrong verb form
plateaued
show examples
 and the income from exported things surpassed it in the following year.
On the other hand
, the
revenue
 from exporting commodities to Japan
valued
Add a missing verb
is valued
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 more than 20
billion
 A$ which
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the same number allocated by the Australian government to buy products from the United States. The export activity
revenue
 and import activity expenditure for both countries gradually increased and
similarly
 reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 peak in 2008
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 45
billion
 A$ and 25
billion
 A$ respectively before
decline
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
 in 2009.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words revenue, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • spike
  • decline
  • trend
  • trade deficit
  • trade surplus
  • commodity prices
  • economic policy
  • international relations
  • exports
  • imports
  • year-on-year
  • notable changes
  • trade volume
  • economic factors
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