IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The three charts below show the value in Australian dollars of Australian trade with three different countries from 2004 to 2009.

The three charts below show the value in Australian dollars of Australian trade with three different countries from 2004 to 2009.
#three #show #value #australian #dollars #trade #countries
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The line graphs compare the total expenditure and
revenue
Use synonyms
 on trading activities between Australia, China, Japan, and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States for five consecutive years.
Overall
Linking Words
, Australia had the highest
revenue
Use synonyms
 from its transaction with Japan,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 the highest expenses came from the imported commodities from the United States. In 2004,
Correct article usage
the Australia
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Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
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 government allocated around 18
billion
Use synonyms
 A$ for importing goods from China,
while
Linking Words
received
Wrong verb form
receiving
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 in return for about 12
billion
Use synonyms
 A$ through selling their goods to China. The number gradually increased, until in 2008 crossed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar amount
for
Change preposition
of
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 30
billion
Use synonyms
 A$ just before the expenses for imported things
went
Verb problem
apply
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plateau
Wrong verb form
plateaued
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 and the income from exported things surpassed it in the following year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
revenue
Use synonyms
 from exporting commodities to Japan
valued
Add a missing verb
is valued
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 more than 20
billion
Use synonyms
 A$ which
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the same number allocated by the Australian government to buy products from the United States. The export activity
revenue
Use synonyms
 and import activity expenditure for both countries gradually increased and
similarly
Linking Words
 reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 peak in 2008
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 45
billion
Use synonyms
 A$ and 25
billion
Use synonyms
 A$ respectively before
decline
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
 in 2009.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words revenue, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • spike
  • decline
  • trend
  • trade deficit
  • trade surplus
  • commodity prices
  • economic policy
  • international relations
  • exports
  • imports
  • year-on-year
  • notable changes
  • trade volume
  • economic factors
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