The world's most urgent problem is caused by overpopulation. Do you agree or disagree?

It
is
Verb problem
has
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recently argued that overpopulation can harm us in many aspects. It has some benefits
also
, but
i
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I
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think its disadvantages outweigh its advantages which
i’m
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I’m
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going to explain more about in the rest of
this
essay.  On one hand, the overpopulation issue has a lot of critics.
Firstly
, more people need more food and
for producing
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to produce
show examples
that, deforestation increases and the habitat of many animals and insects is put in danger. In tropical countries,
for example
, woods have experienced a 2.5% rise in deforestation with the growth of population in late 2022.
Secondly
, crowded cities and public places and more traffic congestion can be intensified
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
increasing the number of people. Presently, most metropolises around the world have polluted air which makes their citizens vulnerable to simple diseases like the flu.
In addition
, some of these cities are
getting
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
uninhabited and that would be a serious problem.
Thirdly
, there aren’t enough
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
for making houses and
this
issue makes them so expensive and exclusive in some counties.
Therefore
, more individuals will be homeless and owning an apartment will be a luxury accessible
On the other hand
, some groups encourage the society to be more crowded. Especially in developing societies, the government and companies are using foreign authorities to get up to date and receive the newest knowledge and technologies. These nations usually have
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
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deprivation which makes them fall behind the other countries in tech, economy and even military. So, they strive to prepare the environment and reduce the costs to encourage couples to have more children who are engineers
and
Correct word choice
apply
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doctors and specialists
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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work for their countries. In Russia,
for example
, families with more than 3 kids are awarded a free house and some
low interest
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low-interest
show examples
loans. 
To conclude
, overpopulation may have some benefits for the nations, but on the other side of it, there are far more problems.
This
is a hassle that we can’t avoid, but we should make some efforts to reduce its pace to have a happier world.
Submitted by yasinkooshki13866 on

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task response
Ensure your essay has a clear opinion throughout, addressing the prompt directly with a strong thesis statement.
task response
Develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and provide detailed examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a more logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, using a wider range of cohesive devices.
coherence and cohesion
Include a concluding sentence in each body paragraph that summarizes the main point and relates it back to the question.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Population density
  • Sustainable
  • Resource depletion
  • Ecosystems
  • Urbanization
  • Demographic pressure
  • Infrastructure
  • Sanitation
  • Renewable resources
  • Biodiversity
  • Life expectancy
  • Fertility rate
  • Carbon footprint
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Emigration
  • Birth control
  • Global warming
  • Deforestation
  • Carbon emissions
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