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Band 6

Space research is a waste of money. The government should spend money on improving conditions of people living on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#space #research #waste #money #government #conditions #people #earth
Many citizens hold the view that it is wasteful for the government to spend
money
 on
space
research
 because there are still several serious problems on Earth to solve. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
 perspective and I believe that the living standard of individuals is more essential to take care of. On the one hand, those who believe that it is worth allocating
money
 to
space
research
 have many reasons to justify their position.
First,
the universe is vast, so we could find some useful information to improve our lives and widen our knowledge if we know more about what is outside the Earth.
For instance
, the satellites can locate some mineral deposits and fuel sources. By it, people can have a better understanding of elements or physical phenomena in the universe, so they can apply them in fields
such
 as energy, health,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 materials, etc.
On the other hand
, I assert that governments should invest
money
 in the conditions of people living as humanity is the priority.
This
 is because the public finances are limited, so they need to use it wisely for other essential things
such
 as infrastructure, security, education, etc. By doing it, the country will have a well-educated workforce who can not only be able to take care of themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 make a great contribution to the prosperity of the nation and social harmony.
Thus
, spending
money
 on
space
research
 is not necessary as we may gain nothing from it, though we
putin
Correct your spelling
put in
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of time and effort. It is
also
 harmful to the environment if we conduct more rocket launch activities, it can generate emissions and noises affecting human health.
To sum up
,
space
research
 can bring huge benefits to mankind. I am of the opinion that governments should use that
money
 to develop the facility. By doing so, the planet will become a better place to live and become more peaceful.
Submitted by weezel on

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to present a well-structured essay with clear and distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one central idea that is elaborated upon. Aim to enhance the logical flow with better transitions and cohesive devices.
task achievement
While you addressed the task, you could refine the extent to which you agree or disagree with more nuanced arguments. Try providing specific, detailed examples and further elaboration to support your points, especially when discussing the benefits of space exploration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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