Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. However, others believe that schools are the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own thoughts.

Nowadays,
Parents
and
Techers
Correct your spelling
Teachers
are more important factors in
childrent's
Correct your spelling
children's
growth.Part of people think that
parents
should teach children how to be good members of
society
.Others argue that schools are the place to learn
this
.The following paragraph will discuss
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
statement. On the one hand,
Parents
are more responsible
every
Change preposition
for every
show examples
children's
life
. Because Kids more time spend their
parents
. So
Parents
should teach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
childrents
Correct your spelling
children
about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
and what
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
factors are
Wrong verb form
influencing
show examples
influence
Correct pronoun usage
influence them
show examples
.
That is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
important
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
.
For example
, Every student's day
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
their home and day
finished
Wrong verb form
finishes
show examples
their home. They spend their
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
time their home.
Moreover
,Every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
will believe their
parents
. So our
childrent's
Correct your spelling
children's
life
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
depend
Add the preposition
depend on
show examples
society
.
Society
Add an article
The society
show examples
included everyone.
As well as
father and mother are responsible
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
childrent
Correct your spelling
children
go to good or bad. So must should teach how to manage
society
and how to become a good person
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
Correct article usage
a knowlegable
show examples
knowlegable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
human.
On the other hand
,
Teachers
are more significant
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
childrents
Correct your spelling
children
children's
. Because more hours spend at school every
childrents
Correct your spelling
children's
children
. So they should teach about
society
. Because we need to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
with other people. So
childrents
Correct your spelling
children
children's
can live
manage
Correct word choice
and manage
show examples
their problems.
For Instance
,
Teachers
must consider group
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, workshops, and
also
CSR projects.
That is
best for
society
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
Teachers
have many
experiance
Correct your spelling
experiences
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life
. So school is one of the best. In conclusion,
Teachers
and
Parents
must will consider
childrent's
Correct your spelling
children's
life
. Our
society
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. So both are different types of learning methods.
Childrents
Correct your spelling
Children
live their
life
more
carefull
Correct your spelling
carefully
careful
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
they will learn everything with
happy
Replace the word
happiness
show examples
and interest.
Submitted by ajeevatharsan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in presenting arguments by following a structured approach. Use clear topic sentences to signal the main idea of each paragraph, and use transitions to connect ideas logically.
coherence cohesion
Expand the introduction to clearly outline your response to the task, including a brief mention of both viewpoints and your own opinion, for a balanced approach to the essay's structure.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and further elaboration of points in both the argument for parental and school teaching to better support your main points. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
task achievement
Work on the development of clear and comprehensive ideas by focusing on depth rather than breadth in your discussion. Elaborate on fewer key points with greater clarity and detail.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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