Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. However, others believe that schools are the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own thoughts.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
Parents
Use synonyms
and
Techers
Correct your spelling
Teachers
are more important factors in
Use synonyms
childrent's
Correct your spelling
children's
growth.Part of people think that
parents
Use synonyms
should teach children how to be good members of
society
Use synonyms
.Others argue that schools are the place to learn
this
Linking Words
.The following paragraph will discuss
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
statement. On the one hand,
Parents
Use synonyms
are more responsible
every
Change preposition
for every
show examples
children's
life
Use synonyms
. Because Kids more time spend their
parents
Use synonyms
. So
Parents
Use synonyms
should teach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Use synonyms
childrents
Correct your spelling
children
about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
and what
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
factors are
Wrong verb form
influencing
show examples
influence
Correct pronoun usage
influence them
show examples
.
That is
Linking Words
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
important
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, Every student's day
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
their home and day
finished
Wrong verb form
finishes
show examples
their home. They spend their
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
time their home.
Moreover
Linking Words
,Every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
will believe their
parents
Use synonyms
. So our
Use synonyms
childrent's
Correct your spelling
children's
life
Use synonyms
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
depend
Add the preposition
depend on
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Society
Add an article
The society
show examples
included everyone.
As well as
Linking Words
father and mother are responsible
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
Use synonyms
childrent
Correct your spelling
children
go to good or bad. So must should teach how to manage
society
Use synonyms
and how to become a good person
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
Correct article usage
a knowlegable
show examples
knowlegable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
human.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Teachers
Use synonyms
are more significant
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
Use synonyms
childrents
Correct your spelling
children
children's
. Because more hours spend at school every
Use synonyms
childrents
Correct your spelling
children's
children
. So they should teach about
society
Use synonyms
. Because we need to
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
with other people. So
Use synonyms
childrents
Correct your spelling
children
children's
can live
manage
Correct word choice
and manage
show examples
their problems.
For Instance
Linking Words
,
Teachers
Use synonyms
must consider group
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, workshops, and
also
Linking Words
CSR projects.
That is
Linking Words
best for
society
Use synonyms
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Teachers
Use synonyms
have many
experiance
Correct your spelling
experiences
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. So school is one of the best. In conclusion,
Teachers
Use synonyms
and
Parents
Use synonyms
must will consider
Use synonyms
childrent's
Correct your spelling
children's
life
Use synonyms
. Our
society
Use synonyms
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. So both are different types of learning methods.
Use synonyms
Childrents
Correct your spelling
Children
live their
life
Use synonyms
more
carefull
Correct your spelling
carefully
careful
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
they will learn everything with
happy
Replace the word
happiness
show examples
and interest.
Submitted by ajeevatharsan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in presenting arguments by following a structured approach. Use clear topic sentences to signal the main idea of each paragraph, and use transitions to connect ideas logically.
coherence cohesion
Expand the introduction to clearly outline your response to the task, including a brief mention of both viewpoints and your own opinion, for a balanced approach to the essay's structure.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and further elaboration of points in both the argument for parental and school teaching to better support your main points. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
task achievement
Work on the development of clear and comprehensive ideas by focusing on depth rather than breadth in your discussion. Elaborate on fewer key points with greater clarity and detail.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: