Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. However, others believe that schools are the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own thoughts.

#people #parents #children #members #society #schools #place #thoughts

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

Parents

and

Techers

Correct your spelling

Teachers

are more important factors in

childrent's

Correct your spelling

children's

growth.Part of people think that

parents

should teach children how to be good members of

society

.Others argue that schools are the place to learn

this

.The following paragraph will discuss

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

statement. On the one hand,

Parents

are more responsible

every

Change preposition

for every

show examples

children's

life

. Because Kids more time spend their

parents

. So

Parents

should teach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

childrents

Correct your spelling

children

about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

and what

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

factors are

Wrong verb form

influencing

show examples

influence

Correct pronoun usage

influence them

show examples

That is

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

important

think

Correct your spelling

thing

show examples

For example

, Every student's day

start

Correct subject-verb agreement

starts

show examples

their home and day

finished

Wrong verb form

finishes

show examples

their home. They spend their

valueable

Correct your spelling

valuable

time their home.

Moreover

,Every

children

Change to a singular noun

child

show examples

will believe their

parents

. So our

childrent's

Correct your spelling

children's

life

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

depend

Add the preposition

depend on

show examples

society

Society

Add an article

The society

show examples

included everyone.

As well as

father and mother are responsible

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

childrent

Correct your spelling

children

go to good or bad. So must should teach how to manage

society

and how to become a good person

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

Correct article usage

a knowlegable

show examples

knowlegable

Correct your spelling

knowledgeable

human.

On the other hand

Teachers

are more significant

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

childrents

Correct your spelling

children

children's

. Because more hours spend at school every

childrents

Correct your spelling

children's

children

. So they should teach about

society

. Because we need to

life

Replace the word

live

show examples

with other people. So

childrents

Correct your spelling

children

children's

can live

manage

Correct word choice

and manage

show examples

their problems.

For Instance

Teachers

must consider group

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

, workshops, and

also

CSR projects.

That is

best for

society

learn

Fix the infinitive

to learn

show examples

Furthermore

Teachers

have many

experiance

Correct your spelling

experiences

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

life

. So school is one of the best. In conclusion,

Teachers

and

Parents

must will consider

childrent's

Correct your spelling

children's

life

. Our

society

depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. So both are different types of learning methods.

Childrents

Correct your spelling

Children

live their

life

carefull

Correct your spelling

carefully

careful

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

they will learn everything with

happy

Replace the word

happiness

show examples

and interest.

Submitted by ajeevatharsan on Tue Jan 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure clarity in presenting arguments by following a structured approach. Use clear topic sentences to signal the main idea of each paragraph, and use transitions to connect ideas logically.

coherence cohesion

Expand the introduction to clearly outline your response to the task, including a brief mention of both viewpoints and your own opinion, for a balanced approach to the essay's structure.

task achievement

Provide specific examples and further elaboration of points in both the argument for parental and school teaching to better support your main points. This will strengthen your task achievement score.

task achievement

Work on the development of clear and comprehensive ideas by focusing on depth rather than breadth in your discussion. Elaborate on fewer key points with greater clarity and detail.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a rising number of health issues which are associated with high-sugar food and drink consumption. I agree that higher sugary products’ prices will prevent people from purchasing and consuming them. Because this effort will be part of health promotion. However, it should be balanced by increasing people’s awareness towards the negative impact of sugary products on their health.
5.5
band
Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is a controversial debate over old buildings in modern cities. While some people believe that they should be substituted, I side with the ones who prefer to preserve them. This essay will shed light on both perspectives and explain why conservation is a better option.
7.5
band
In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that people in many nations, more and more people are relocating to a new location far from their close ones to pursue their career. While there are some positive aspects of this trend, I believe that overall the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
7
band
Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?
The decline in bicycle usage as a form of transport can be attributed to inadequate infrastructure and safety concerns. Regarding the former, as cities grow and become more densely populated, there is often a lack of adequate infrastructure to support safe and convenient cycling. Narrow roads, limited bike lanes, and inadequate cycling facilities can deter people from using bicycles as a mode of transport, especially in areas with heavy traffic or poor road conditions. Concerning the other reason, certain perceived risks associated with cycling, including accidents, collisions with motor vehicles, and theft of bicycles, can deter people from using this mode of transport, especially in busy urban areas with high levels of traffic congestion. This is the case of Vietnam where cyclists often voice their concerns with potential collisions with motorcycles when navigating busy roads, which has undermined confidence in cycling as a viable mode of transport.
8
band
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, •explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday •describe some possible disadvantages •say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
It is good to hear from you after the last meetup we had at Jane’s, and hope you keeping well.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. However, others believe that schools are the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own thoughts.

Your opinion

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?