“Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?”

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It is argued that spending money on technologies supplied by public
libraries
loses the little money
support
that they receive as a local place.
Instead
of
this
, they can invest in more physical library supplies.
This
essay disagrees with
this
statement because I believe the library is a big
support
for different students and a lot of them need to use different tools to learn.
Besides
needing to be at the forefront of new software - tech. The local places with connect with knowledge are an aid for different people who are going to school,
college
Correct word choice
or college
show examples
or just want to learn about something special and need to invest in different resources that invite humans to go and spend time there, connecting with audio, movies, books, magazines, mind games and other tools that help to grow interest up.
For example
, the regional
libraries
of the US, offer a variety of programs for their community, whether children, young people, or seniors and every season give posts with activities emphasized
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
those different ages. It results in a big community with thinks in the interests and curiosities of their town Another reason why
support
the use of money in technology resources is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
the global world is growing and facing changes that are connected to
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
and social devices, and new generations are spending more than 5 hours per day watching movies, playing video games, or scrolling social media pages without any new knowledge. So, if the different
libraries
keep pace with the new changes in society, and include those in their spaces, the new generations will be motivated to visit these spaces or just navigate through the online page and access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all material,
such
as books, language books, or classes. One big example of
this
was the pandemic episode, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people had to seek resources in different places trying to keep mental health at home, since they couldn't go out of the house, of the local
libraries
had to reinvent themselves to offer materials and
support
to different groups and the internet was the main key. In conclusion, public
libraries
are a big
support
for the community,
therefore
, believe they need to be updated
according to
the needs, advances and new generations of the world
Submitted by jennitobon16 on

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coherence cohesion
Work more on structuring your essay logically. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences that relate directly to the main idea. It will make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay; they should clearly state your position and summarise the main points of your argument respectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more fully with specific examples and explanations. This demonstrates your ability to extend and support your ideas, which is a key part of achieving a higher band score.
task achievement
Provide a more complete response to the prompt by directly addressing whether you agree or disagree with the notion that libraries should not spend resources on high-tech media. Make your position clear from the beginning and consistently argue it throughout your essay.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Aim for more precise language use and avoid general statements. Instead, delve deeper into your argument and clarify your ideas with concrete examples that directly relate to the task.
task achievement
Continue incorporating specific examples as you have done, but link them more directly to the argument. This will help in substantiating your claims and providing a stronger task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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