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Band 4

everyone should be encouraged to use fewer resources rather than recycle more. To what extent do you agree?

#resources
Nowadays, there are many
resources
 that are available to everyone, which causes damage to the earth.
This
 problem is just being recognised and people argue
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 they should consume fewer
resources
 or be encouraged to recycle more. I believe using fewer
resources
 has a more beneficial impact on the
environment
. The
environment
 is under stress
due to
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
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 of
resources
, which results in various environmental problems. To mitigate these issues, people need to use fewer
resources
, since it reduces the amount of waste that ends up in landfills, leading to a cleaner and healthier
environment
. Using fewer
resources
 is essential to protect the
environment
 and ensure a sustainable future.
On the other hand
, recycling is
also
 crucial to reduce the pressing issues on our planet.
recycling
Capitalize word
Recycling
show examples
 is an essential step in efforts for a
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
healthier ecosystem; it has many benefits;
conserving
Change preposition
including conserving
show examples
resources
 and reducing waste. Despite our best efforts, recycling only plays a minimal role;
conversely
, by reducing our buying habits, we avoid creating waste in the first place, all
that is
 needed is a change of mind and consumption habits. In conclusion, despite some of the perceived benefits, focusing on using fewer
resources
, rather than recycling brings a more sustainable and environmentally responsive way of life, benefiting the
environment
.
Submitted by mubinamukhtorjonova on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the essay follows a clear and logical structure. While the essay presents a basic structure, there is room to improve the logical connections between ideas. Develop clearer and more explicit topic sentences that announce the main idea of each paragraph.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion. Although present, work on refining these sections so that the thesis statement and concluding thoughts are decisive and unequivocally reflect the position taken.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support main points with specific examples. The essay mentions general benefits and needs, but providing concrete examples or evidence would strengthen the argument and illustrate the points more effectively.
Task Achievement
Ensure the response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay should include a comprehensive discussion of both aspects - the use of fewer resources and recycling. Provide a more balanced view before presenting the final position.
Task Achievement
Express clear and comprehensive ideas. Clarify the main ideas and articulate the arguments more extensively to provide a richer discussion around the topic.
Task Achievement
Provide relevant, specific examples to support the position. Integrate examples that are directly linked to the points made in the essay. This enhances relevance and allows for a more convincing argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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