Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints

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Some

people

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believe that modern

technology

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has brought

people

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closer.

While

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some others say that it has created distance within the society. The Inventors of new

technology

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has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

created many innovations, especially in order to make

people

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communicate easier.

Whereas

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most

people

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has

Change the verb form

have

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started

certain

Correct article usage

a certain

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dependency

Change preposition

show examples

these devices.

This

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essay will discuss and explain both views regarding modern

technology

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Firstly

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, many

people

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would say that modern

technology

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has been categorized as a breakthrough and has brought some positive impact. To be more precise, the positive impact actually focused

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show examples

the way

people

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communicate and disseminate information. In the past, very limited communication mediums were created,

that

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and that

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was the reason why distance really mattered at that time.

As a result

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, new

device

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devices

show examples

such

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smartphone

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smartphones

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and

laptop

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laptops

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have been used as an option to communicate because of easiness.

Secondly

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, these modern technologies would make the users become very dependent

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show examples

their devices.

As some

Correct word choice

Some

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people

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prefer to learn and search for some information

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with

show examples

their

gadget

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gadgets

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instead

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of asking

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others.

Therefore

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these

people

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should not abandon their surroundings in order to keep socially active.

For instance

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people

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who

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

most of their

times

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time

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into

Change preposition

show examples

gadget

Fix the agreement mistake

gadgets

show examples

might become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

introvert

Replace the word

introverted

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person.

To conclude

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, there are different opinions regarding the invention of modern

technology

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and its benefits for these

people

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Although

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these technologies bring a lot of advantages,

people

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still need to be aware

about

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show examples

the negative impact.

In addition

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, limiting the usage of gadgets would be a wiser option as we only want the positive

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

of these technologies.

Submitted by nadhif2799 on Tue Jan 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the paragraphs are not fully expanded with clear topic sentences, and there is a lack of specific examples to support the main points. Transition words are used, but they could be applied more effectively to improve the logical flow of ideas.

task achievement

While you address both sides of the argument, further development is needed to provide a complete response to the issue. Your own opinion is vaguely given without thorough explanation or clear examples to back it up. Consider expanding on your own view to present a more comprehensive argument and remember to provide specific and relevant examples to substantiate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
communicate
social media
virtual meetings
global community
isolation
distract
face-to-face interaction
personal connections
dependency
technology addiction
digital divide

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Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

THE FOREST AND THE NEED TO PRESERVE IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

In an era of globalisation, some people think that studying abroad is the best way to attain a well-paid job, while others believe that other options are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

task 2: Internet technology means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how others live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?