Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
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believe that modern
technology
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has brought
people
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closer.
While
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some others say that it has created distance within the society. The Inventors of new
technology
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has
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have
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created many innovations, especially in order to make
people
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communicate easier.
Whereas
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most
people
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has
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have
show examples
started
certain
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a certain
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dependency
to
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on
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these devices.
This
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essay will discuss and explain both views regarding modern
technology
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.
Firstly
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, many
people
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would say that modern
technology
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has been categorized as a breakthrough and has brought some positive impact. To be more precise, the positive impact actually focused
in
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on
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the way
people
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communicate and disseminate information. In the past, very limited communication mediums were created,
that
Correct word choice
and that
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was the reason why distance really mattered at that time.
As a result
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, new
device
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devices
show examples
such
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as
smartphone
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smartphones
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and
laptop
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laptops
show examples
have been used as an option to communicate because of easiness.
Secondly
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, these modern technologies would make the users become very dependent
to
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on
show examples
their devices.
As some
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Some
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people
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prefer to learn and search for some information
by
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with
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their
gadget
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gadgets
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instead
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of asking
the
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apply
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others.
Therefore
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these
people
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should not abandon their surroundings in order to keep socially active.
For instance
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,
people
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who
spent
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spend
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most of their
times
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time
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into
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on
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gadget
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gadgets
show examples
might become
an
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apply
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introvert
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introverted
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person.
To conclude
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, there are different opinions regarding the invention of modern
technology
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and its benefits for these
people
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.
Although
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these technologies bring a lot of advantages,
people
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still need to be aware
about
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of
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the negative impact.
In addition
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, limiting the usage of gadgets would be a wiser option as we only want the positive
aspect
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aspects
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of these technologies.
Submitted by nadhif2799 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the paragraphs are not fully expanded with clear topic sentences, and there is a lack of specific examples to support the main points. Transition words are used, but they could be applied more effectively to improve the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
While you address both sides of the argument, further development is needed to provide a complete response to the issue. Your own opinion is vaguely given without thorough explanation or clear examples to back it up. Consider expanding on your own view to present a more comprehensive argument and remember to provide specific and relevant examples to substantiate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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