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Writing Samples
Band 6

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#plan #museum #changes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The demonstrated two maps illustrate the development and the variations that were conducted in the
museum
Use synonyms
 in 1998 and a decade later. In general, there were many changes and improvements implemented in the
museum
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 the old
rooms
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
still exist.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1998, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 three permanent exhibition
rooms
Use synonyms
 and seven other different
rooms
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, two
rooms
Use synonyms
 of permanent exhibition were located on the right side,
while
Linking Words
 the third one was situated in the left corner of the
museum
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2008, some changes were implemented on the west side of the
museum
Use synonyms
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
 the shop and bags and coats
room
Use synonyms
 moved into the
south west
Correct your spelling
southwest
show examples
 corner of it.
However
Linking Words
,
toilet’s
Correct article usage
the toilet’s
show examples
 place was
also
Linking Words
 vary. In 2008, it was situated next to the cafe which is located in the north.
In addition
Linking Words
, the largest
room
Use synonyms
 which was located in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
museum
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 was developed with some
adding
Wrong verb form
added
show examples
 facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
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 sitting zone and fountains.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, on the left side, two
Use synonyms
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
 were added. In the north left corner, there was a restaurant and in the
middle
Add a comma
middle,
show examples
 there was a new
room
Use synonyms
 erected called temporary exhibition.
Submitted by f201600285 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, rooms, room with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rectangular shape
  • central garden area
  • symmetrically arranged
  • expanded galleries
  • visitor flow management
  • temporary exhibition space
  • permanent gallery
  • visitor facilities
  • customer service focus
  • dedicated children's area
  • expanded restroom facilities
  • museum gardens
  • unoccupied outdoor space
  • shift towards long-term exhibits
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