An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems whey they grow older both in term of their health and health care costs What do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

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In the 21st century,

obesity

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in children has become a major issue because of future consequences like health diseases and expensive care. There are several factors regarding

this

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issue. In

this

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essay, I will expand on the reasons and

also

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suggestions to solve the problem.

To begin

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with reasons, there are many factors which accelerate the kids'

obesity

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growing rate in society.

First,

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nowadays, fast

food

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has become pervasive and of course popular among kids. Consuming

this

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kind of

food

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which is made by using a huge amount of oil can result in serious disease and

obesity

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in the long term if it is not well-controlled.

Furthermore

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, too much screen time is another reason exacerbating the issue.

For instance

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, these days juveniles spend hours of their leisure time playing online video games, resulting in fewer outdoor activities and eventually eye problems and fatness. To counter

this

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problem, parents should have a plan to monitor their offspring's eating habits.

For example

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, cooking them healthy

food

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and making sugar-free cookies before school can prevent them from buying fast

food

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or junk

food

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Moreover

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, in terms of activities, an article published

last

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year concluded children who were accompanied by their parents in outdoor activities showed less interest to stuck in front of the TV or gaming console.

To conclude

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while

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with the growing prevalence of fast

food

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and the popularity of video

games

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games,

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it would be challenging to control

obesity

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in the young generation, I believe that by planning countermeasures like diet control and monitoring children's screen time, they can mitigate the growing fatness rate among kids.

Reza Moravej Tue Jan 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay provides a well-structured introduction and conclusion, but improvement is needed to achieve greater clarity and cohesion. To enhance the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and is clearly connected to the overall argument of the essay. Transitions between paragraphs can be strengthened for smoother flow.

task achievement

While the response addresses the question, more thorough development of ideas and specific examples are needed for higher scores. Expand upon the key points with detailed explanations and real-world examples to demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic. Additionally, ensure that the ideas directly answer the question posed.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Overweight
Obesity
Sedentary lifestyle
Screen time
Physical activity
Fast food
Caloric intake
Nutrition
Dietary habits
Advertising
Health education
Socio-economic factors
Recreational facilities
Genetic predisposition
School lunch programs
Physical education
Government intervention
Food subsidies
Sugary drinks tax
Community initiatives
Urban planning
Healthcare providers
Early detection
Dietary advice
Weight monitoring

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An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems whey they grow older both in term of their health and health care costs What do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

You recently completed a course and youu borrowed a book from your teacher which you couldn't return in time. You would like to return the book now. Write a letter to your teacher and say: What book it was. How helpful was the book? Explain why you couldn't return it in time.

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Write a letter to landlord about the one or two problems you have in the house you moved to before 15 days with your family. What are issues and tell what you want him to do.

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.