one of the consequences of the medical care is that people are living longer and expentensy is increasing Do you think this advantage of development overwieghts the disadvantage?

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In
this
era of technology,
people
have been able to live longer than the past generations.
This
has increased expectancy among the public. In
this
essay, both the benefits and drawbacks of
this
matter will be discussed and I will provide my opinion. To commence with, living longer would enable individuals to spend more time with their loved ones. It is undeniable that almost every person would like to live longer in order to see their children grow, create a family, and be successful in life.
Thus
, as Health care industry advances,
people
become passionate about life.
Furthermore
, suffering from various pains is inevitable when
people
get older,
nonetheless
, thanks to pharmaceutical new drugs, elderly
people
suffer less from disease . By and large, medical drugs would make
a
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society to be happier and more enthusiastic.
On the other hand
, there are several drawbacks to increasing the longevity.
First,
consuming too much of longevity drugs can be dangerous.
According to
an article published recently, these cures change human genes, resulting in the healthiness of the next generations.
Besides
, at least now, these types of medical care require huge financial resources.
For example
, a family may sacrifice their children's college savings just to be alive aside from them.
To conclude
, there are several benefits to increasing longevity in a society like increased happiness or suffering less from painful diseases,
however
, I believe Its detrimental effects on the next generations definitely outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by Reza Moravej on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly stated and linked to the overall argument. The introduction might benefit from a clearer thesis statement indicating your stance. In the conclusion, restate your position ensuring it reflects the discussion in the body paragraphs.
supported main points
Develop your main ideas by expanding on them with supporting details and examples. Each paragraph should be focused on a single main idea, and this idea should be supported by relevant concrete examples. Enhance your essay by including more persuasive and detailed instances to bolster your argument.
logical structure
Strive for a well-structured essay where the order of information and ideas follows logically. Transitions between paragraphs need to be smoother to help guide the reader through your argument. The use of cohesive devices could be enhanced to achieve better flow and clarity.
complete response
A complete response directly addresses the question all the way through the essay. Make sure each paragraph contributes to your overall response to the question. Additionally, ensure your opinion is clear and maintains consistency throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your main points more comprehensively. The ideas should be fully fleshed out and explained in depth to effectively address the prompt. Enhance clarity by being more explicit and providing in-depth reasoning behind your arguments.
relevant specific examples
There's a need for relevant and specific examples that effectively support your points. Concrete examples are crucial for illustrating your main ideas and prove your arguments. Without them, your essay lacks the persuasive element that would make your argument believable and robust.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • public health
  • medical technology
  • vaccinations
  • antibiotics
  • senior health care
  • geriatric services
  • overpopulation
  • natural resources
  • environmental strain
  • dependency ratio
  • working-age population
  • retirees
  • contribute to society
  • personal goals
  • medical industry
  • economic growth
  • age-related diseases
  • health care costs
  • health care system
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