IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Amuseum, near your home is looking for people to do part time voluntary unpaid . You would like to do some voluntary unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the amuseum director to apply for the voluntary unpaid work in your letter • explain why you want to do the voluntary unpaid work at the museum • describe some skills and qualities you have to would be useful • Give details of when you would be available for work

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my interest in a part-time voluntary position at the museum. I believe my past experiences make me well-suited for the role, and I would like to emphasize my ability to add value, particularly through my knowledge of history and familiarity with the location.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I am an easy-going and reliable individual who has been involved in numerous voluntary projects with diverse groups of students.
Additionally
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, two years ago, the Anatolia Museum entrusted me with the responsibility of safeguarding one of their paintings. In conclusion, I am currently available for work, and if selected, I am eager to start at your earliest convenience. I am committed to commuting on foot, eliminating the need for any special transport arrangements.
While
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 I await your positive feedback, I would be grateful for a prompt reply. I am looking forward to hearing from you. If you have any questions or thoughts, please do not hesitate to contact me. Kind regards, Salih Zeki Köni

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coherence cohesion
You should ensure that each paragraph presents a distinct point and elaborates on it sufficiently. The letter, at times, conflated different ideas within single paragraphs, which could lead to confusion for the reader.
task achievement
The purpose of the letter was articulated, but more specifics on how your skills and qualities match the requirements of the voluntary position would enhance your response.
task achievement
The letter could be improved by providing more details on availability such as specific days of the week or hours that you are free, thus giving the museum director a clearer idea of your scheduling possibilities.
coherence cohesion
While a logical sequence is somewhat maintained, better transitions and linking phrases between the paragraphs would significantly improve the flow of information.
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