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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is observed that communication between family members in today's time is less as compared to the past. However, some people do not think so. Do you agree or disagree?

#communication #members #time #people
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In the modern era, many humans are not giving time to their family members than in the past.
By contrast
, others believe that people are spending with their families at the right time. My opinion, I totally disagree with the first statement which is communication between household members is less as compared to the previous decade. It cannot be denied that conversations between relatives are reduced nowadays because of increasing living expenses.
As a result
, mankind; both parents and adults need to work hard.
Furthermore
, numerous parents want to support their children
such
 as better education and better lifestyle. That’s why, they are trying to earn more income and working overtime.
For example
, parents who are living in developing countries,
such
 as Japan and Korea, are working numerous hours.
Consequently
, they feel that they do not have enough hours to give their children and partners. It can be seen that improving technology can affect the relationship between families. A lot of Younger communities are spending their free moment on social media
instead
 of communicating with family
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
. Youngsters are addicted to using social media because of trending among them and want to be celebrities themselves.
In addition
, some children who are studying at universities or schools are compared with others concerning education.
As a result
, they study a lot without sleeping because they want to be at the top of their class. In conclusion, both improving advanced technology and increasing living expenses affect the communication between household members. In the same way, the government should tackle increasing prices and control the usage of social applications among the youth.
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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