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Band 4.5

The government should invest more money in public transportation than in private cars. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #transportation #cars
The increasing reliance on private
cars
 is having a detrimental impact on the environment, public health, and social cohesion. Governments should prioritize public
transportation
 to address these challenges and promote a more sustainable and livable future. Private
cars
 are a major source of greenhouse gas emissions, which contribute to climate change. Investing in public
transportation
 would reduce the number of
cars
 on the road, leading to significant environmental benefits. Public
transportation
also
 reduces air pollution, which has a negative impact on human health. Public
transportation
 is more efficient than private
cars
 in terms of both fuel consumption and space utilization. By moving more people in fewer vehicles, public
transportation
 reduces congestion and traffic jams.
This
 efficiency
also
 translates into cost savings for both individuals and the government. Public
transportation
 promotes social cohesion by providing access to education, employment, and essential services for all members of society, regardless of their socioeconomic status. It
also
 reduces reliance on
cars
, which can lead to social isolation and a decline in community life. In conclusion, investing more in public
transportation
 is a necessary step to address the environmental, social, and economic challenges posed by private car usage. Public
transportation
 is a more sustainable, efficient, and equitable mode of
transportation
 that can improve the quality of life for all citizens.
Submitted by AUser on

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supported main points
Ensure that your main points are not only stated but also elaborated upon in sufficient detail. Including more specific examples or data to bolster your arguments would strengthen your essay and provide a clearer rationale for your position.
complete response
While your response appropriately addresses the prompt, consider expanding your discussion of how government investment in public transportation might directly compare to investment in private cars. Detailing this comparison could enhance the depth of your argument and demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the issue.
clear comprehensive ideas
You presented your ideas clearly and maintained relevance throughout the essay. To improve, focus on varying your sentence structures and using a range of cohesive devices. This will help to improve the flow of ideas and show a higher level of English proficiency.
introduction conclusion present
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with clear progression of ideas. To further improve, ensure that each body paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and that subsequent sentences elaborate on that topic. This will add to the essay's overall coherency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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