There has been major advances in technology over the recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advances #technology #decades #improvements #people’s #lives

this

modern

era

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era,

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too many

improvments

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improvements

happend

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happened

happen

knowlge

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knowledge

, which

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

changed

humans

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human

show examples

life

for ever

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forever

show examples

. As can be

seen

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seen,

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most of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

changes were some kind of developments, which

iproved

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improved

proved

peoples

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people's

show examples

life

and made living easier than past. In

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

two

Correct your spelling

paragraphs

pragraphs

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pragraphs,

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I will write about the goodness of

this

action

then

I will show my final opinion as

conclusion

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a conclusion

the conclusion

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One

of the best things that

happend

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happened

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with

show examples

advacments

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advancements

sicene

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science

was

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the evelution

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evelution

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evolution

evaluation

trasportation

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transportation

This

new

technology

changed people's

life

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lives

show examples

posetively

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positively

For example

, in 1900 if

some

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someone

show examples

one

wanted to go to

the

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apply

show examples

another city he had to walk or ride a horse and

this

cycle may

took

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take

show examples

3 months of his

life

, but today if another person wants to travel between cities he can use

train

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a train

show examples

which is faster and

cheeper

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cheaper

. I can see that

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apply

show examples

this

new

invention

made good changes for humanity and because of that

trasportation

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transportation

became faster and easier. Another good change which

happend

Correct your spelling

happened

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with

show examples

improvment

Correct your spelling

improvement

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowlge

Correct your spelling

knowledge

and

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

changed

every

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everyone's

show examples

one

life

for the best

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apply

show examples

was

invention

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the invention

an invention

show examples

of the internet.

This

new

technology

humanty's

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humanity's

biggest

achivment

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achievement

, which changed

every

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everyone's

show examples

one

life

once

for ever

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forever

show examples

. To give just a single example, I can just mention in the past when a person wanted to send a

massege

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message

some

Correct your spelling

someone

show examples

one

he had to pay for paper post and he had to write it, but right now that person has to use his phone

type

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to type

show examples

what he

want

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wants

show examples

then

just send it.

This

is a huge

evelution

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evolution

for every single human.

Invention

Add an article

The invention

show examples

of the internet

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

changed all of

lives

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the lives

show examples

this

planet

for ever

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forever

show examples

and for the

best

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better

show examples

. in conclusion in

this

one

or two past decades

technology

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

really gone far and

this

advancment

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advancement

made

huge

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a huge

show examples

difference in

peoples

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people's

show examples

lifes

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lives

show examples

Change the preposition

show examples

my opinion

this

action had

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

results

such

as faster and

chiper

Correct your spelling

cheaper

chipper

transportation and more important than that the internet came to be,

this

massive

invention

made society's

life

really easy. To be honest

this

advancment

Correct your spelling

advancement

is not always good like when

countrys

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countries

country's

produce

danger

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dangerous

show examples

weapens

such

the

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apply

show examples

atomic bombs which can kill

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too

show examples

many people

Change preposition

with

show examples

one

click, If

Change the capitalization

show examples

had power I would

disapear

Correct your spelling

disappear

this

bad side of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

. After

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

advancement is

really

Add an article

a really

show examples

important and good thing to happen for

evey

Correct your spelling

every

single

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Nations

Fix the agreement mistake

Nation

show examples

Submitted by mohamad.tavalari2008 on Wed Jan 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear and coherent structure. It is important to have a clear thesis statement in your introduction and topic sentences for each paragraph that directly address the essay question. Make sure to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea that is expanded upon with supporting sentences.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but they need to be more developed. The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position.

coherence cohesion

There is an attempt to support main points with examples, but they need to be more specific and directly relevant to the question. Studies, statistics, or more detailed hypothetical scenarios will strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The response is somewhat complete but the ideas presented are not always clear or comprehensive. Ensure that you fully address the task by presenting your viewpoint on the extent to which you agree or disagree, and by discussing both sides of the argument if appropriate.

task achievement

The essay drifts into general statements without fully explaining or elaborating on ideas. Aim to clearly articulate your ideas and explore them in depth to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The examples provided are not always relevant or specific enough to the topic. Make sure to include examples that directly support your position and show a clear link to the argument you are making.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
76Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

390 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There has been major advances in technology over the recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems association.

In many cities, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom.

Some countries are struggling with an increase rate in crime. Many people think that increasing police on the roads is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree ?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other s think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own oipinion.