IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone
In
this
 contemporary era, studying various words is considered a necessary thing for modern
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
. There is a debate among communities about which is the main reason for literature. Another sound is that a number of people in society believe that it is travel or work, and many more think that it is not. I opine with that latter belief, and I will explain, in
this
 essay, both statements.
To begin
 with,the reason why studying a second language is necessary for the masses.
Firstly
, it is easy for tourists who know the dialect well to travel to their dream home.
For example
, travellers choose the region they want to visit out of an interest in learning about the country's own
cultures
Fix the agreement mistake
culture
show examples
.
Moreover
, tourists in states like China, Japan, and the Maldives cannot communicate with their locals without knowing their regional
sound
Fix the agreement mistake
sounds
show examples
.
Secondly
, to secure a job in another province, it is mandatory to be experienced in their tongue. To explain, people who migrate abroad for better living must manage their work to live. If they cannot communicate with the new crowd, they will fail to survive there. For living there, the first requirement is that you control the unfamiliar language.
On the other hand
, there are ample other reasons for training offshore jargon. International business traders ought to communicate with external dealers. Students move to developed states for higher studies. There are a number of entertaining issues with watching external dramas, series,
movies
Correct word choice
and movies
show examples
, reading books, and being eager to know about overseas celebrities.
To conclude
, travelling or getting work overseas requires knowing alternative dialects;
on the contrary
, there are
also
 more benefits to knowing various dialects.
Submitted by saimonsohan121 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Although the essay introduces both views and provides a clear opinion, it lacks detailed exploration of each viewpoint. Expand the explanation of the arguments by presenting more nuanced perspectives and delve deeper into the rationale behind each position.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents ideas in an unclear and confusing manner with limited coherence. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use a range of cohesive devices to help link your ideas more effectively and create a more seamless reading experience.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: