It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

No one doubts that school
education
plays a significant role in people's
lives
. Humans who receive good
education
and behave themselves properly in society are highly appreciated and recognised.
Moreover
,
parents
should be responsible not only for the decent behaviour of
students
but
also
for providing academic
education
. In the following essay, I will discuss
this
statement from my perspective. On the one hand, it is true that schools play an important role in the formation of a good demeanour among youngsters. most
students
take part in school in order to enrich their academic knowledge .
However
, institutions
also
need to provide training on morality to ensure the quality of their
students
.
For example
, in Vietnam, civics has become one of the main subjects at schools with a view to teaching children about the essence of decent behaviours in both their professional and private activities.
Therefore
, it is believed that the department needs to be responsible for the schooling of a good personality
due to
its importance in their future
lives
.
On the other hand
,
parents
' responsibility in teaching Scion a good attitude needs to be taken into consideration. it is worth mentioning that
parents
accompany their heirs throughout their
lives
, so they have a significant effect on their offspring, especially in the formation of personalities.
Consequently
,
parents
need to set strict rules and discipline to teach their offspring about morality, which would be pivotal for their
lives
. without the assistance of adults, the careful
education
of schools in decent personalities among children is likely to be ineffective.
As a result
,
students
are unable to become good citizens, who can contribute to an ideal society. In conclusion, my opinion is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the responsibility of faculty in the teaching of good behaviours needs to be taken into account with the support of
parents
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to link your ideas more explicitly using a variety of transitional phrases. This will help the reader to follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Although the essay presents a clear position, ensure that all main points are consistently developed. Try elaborating on each idea a little more to provide a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to make the essay more engaging. Additionally, be mindful of grammar and punctuation errors to increase readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument, and your conclusion clearly summarizes your position, making the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
The essay provides a reasonable balance between discussing the role of schools and parents in teaching good behavior, which addresses the task effectively.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the Vietnam example, adds credibility to your argument and helps to illustrate your points clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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