Some people believe that technology such as mobile phones has destroyed social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #phones #interaction

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Nowadays, it

Verb problem

has

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become hard for

people

Use synonyms

to meet up with their loved ones from person to person because of the latest technology. Many folks consider that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gadgets

such

Linking Words

as smartphones have diminished social communication.

This

Linking Words

matter is being agreed or disagreed by the society

due to

Linking Words

its own views.

Change preposition

From

show examples

my perspective, I agree with the given notion and would like to highlight some reasons.

To begin

Linking Words

with, high-tech appliances have a revolutionary effect on community relationships. By

this

Linking Words

I mean,

individuals

Correct word choice

that individuals

show examples

have relationship gaps

due to

Linking Words

mobile phones.

For example

Linking Words

, adolescents prefer to spend their time mostly on devices rather than to assemble with their families

as well as

Linking Words

friends and sometimes it might cause conflicts between them.

Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should be aware of the value of families and try to visit them physically.

Secondly

Linking Words

, cells

are kept

Wrong verb form

keep

show examples

people

Use synonyms

busy browsing online

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, wireless devices reduce physical activities and make everyone lazy, unhealthy including mentally unstable.

For instance

Linking Words

, there are various social media platforms available on which folks keep scrolling and

also

Linking Words

make online friends.

Hence

Linking Words

, some of them assume live meeting with anyone is a waste of time but live interaction makes the bonding stronger. On the flip side, the second school of thought asserts that these electronic tools increase access to get in touch with families and companions who are far away from them. To elaborate, one who is hundreds or thousands of miles away from their tribe,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can easily interact with others through video calls or chats.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is convenient for the community but cell phones can reduce the worth of relationships. In conclusion,

Although

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

get

along with

Linking Words

someone through these technological devices it enhances the lack of connection among the individuals. As per my analysis, everyone should spend time with their loved ones face to face, to not destroy their rapport.

Submitted by livelygirl127 on Wed Jan 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the ideas are clearly distributed throughout the essay with a logical progression. Some of the points were not fully elaborated upon.

task achievement

Work on providing specific examples that are directly relevant to the claim being made. Examples given were generic and did not fully support the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

312 words

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Some people believe that technology such as mobile phones has destroyed social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Social media has replaced the traditional method of communicating and people use more and more of social media to communicate and follow news and events. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.