Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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Technology deeply penetrates many parts of modern
society
everyday life. It is not a secret that even in critical industries Change noun form
society's
such
as medicine and transport we are becoming fully dependent on the power of computers while
this
approach has a number of benefits I strongly believe that our dependence hides significant threats for all of us. Further
consideration of computer systems
uses
and the consequences of a sudden stop of services will help to prove that we could lose control.
First of all, there is no doubt that a modern clinic or a train station cannot function without computing power and network Correct subject-verb agreement
use
systems
. The latest technologies in medicine which literally save lives every day have been relying on computers for decades. Furthermore
, a constantly increasing number of passengers and provided services on public transport create a strong bond for that industry with computer systems
.
Despite all the benefits which were mentioned in the previous paragraph, we have been in danger since the first computer virus attacked personal computers in the late eighties and a new word hacker appeared in a newspaper. With a wide spread of technology the door for a dark market, data corruption and even terror was opened for persons who want to use technology with no respect to social agreements and law. Moreover
, it has been already proven by many incidents that such
attacks cost billions of US dollars and in terrific cases even lives.
To conclude
, I would like to highlight that it is an obvious fact that critical industries cannot function properly in the modern expanding world. Therefore
, our first priority is to protect critical systems
and industries from hackers' attacks and systems
breakdowns because the price is incredibly high.Submitted by masalovaleksey on
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Task Achievement
Ensure to expand on the specific examples provided to illustrate your points better.
Coherence & Cohesion
Elaborate more on the possible consequences of over-reliance on computer technology in critical systems.
Coherence & Cohesion
Remember to maintain a clear and comprehensive line of argumentation throughout your essay.
Introduction & Conclusion
The essay begins with a strong introduction, presenting the central argument clearly.
Logical Structure & Flow
There is a good structure to the essay, with appropriate paragraphing and a clear flow of ideas.
Introduction & Conclusion
The conclusion effectively restates the main argument, emphasizing the significance of the issue discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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