You and some friends want to start a weekly dance club and you have found a hall that would be suitable to hold your meetings. Write a letter to the owner of the hall. In you letter, 1. explain your and your friends project 2. ask if it possible to rent the hall and under the what terms 3. state what day and what timings you would like to use the hall

#friends #dance #club #hall #meetings #owner #project #rent #terms #timings

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am Harpreet and I am a professional

dance

teacher. I am writing

this

letter to propose a collaborative project with your hall as I and my friends desire to initiate a weekly

dance

club. Fortunately, I received

Change the article

show examples

award for my

dance

skills

last

week from Scared University. Now I would like to open a weekly

dance

club to promote physical fitness

along with

social interaction. Can you please let me know if it is available or not to rent? If I get your approval, I will start online and walk-in registration on 27th June

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

2024 from 10am to 5pm at your hall.

Also

, we will discuss the availability of time

whether

Correct word choice

and whether

show examples

it fits well in your existing schedule or not.

Moreover

, I assure you that there will be no conflict with other events. I look forward

for

Change preposition

show examples

a positive response. I appreciate your time and consideration. Do not hesitate to contact me if you need any

further

information. Yours faithfully, Harpreet

Submitted by krnveerrsingh on Sat Jun 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

While the letter is generally clear, it would benefit from a more logical structure to improve readability. Consider organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs to avoid mixing points.

suitable writing tone

Make sure the tone remains formal throughout the letter. Some phrases can be slightly more formal to match the overall style.

task achievement

The letter adequately covers all the required points: explaining the project, asking about the rental, and specifying the desired day and times.

suitable writing tone

The tone is polite and professional, making it suitable for a formal letter.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

165 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

enthusiasts
promote
physical fitness
social interaction
inquire
rental terms
availability
deposit requirements
preferred
timing
existing schedule
conflict
events

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