Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Promoting conflict among numerous nations worldwide has been one of the most fruitful approaches to
penetrate
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penetrating
among
societies for Change preposition
apply
exploiting
. International recreational and sporting events namely Replace the word
exploitation
Olympics
and Correct article usage
the Olympics
football
World Cup possess the ability to bring about sweeping change for Correct article usage
the football
this
political circumstance and nations will be tied together, and ultimately can settle the disputes. This
essay aims to elaborate on and illustrate this
perspective.
To embark on, the international tensions have been modified as a means to segregate nations with corresponding believes
, faiths and outlooks to dominate them separately and more conveniently. If these authorities had not implemented Replace the word
beliefs
this
policy, these people would have allied together, and maintain
control would demand Wrong verb form
maintaining
much
more gigantic Correct article usage
a much
endeavor
. Change the spelling
endeavour
Consequently
, global events provide people with none to second opportunity to get acquainted with one another, disrupting this
conspiracy and easing tensions.
If I want to go further
, the autocratic regimes have had burning
desire to instill a counterfoil sense of patriotism among Correct article usage
a burning
masses
to propel them Correct article usage
the masses
for abusing
and manipulate these populations. A sense of belonging to a country or even a person and defensing them can give rise to an act which may not align with Change preposition
to abuse
commonsense
and sensibility Correct word choice
common
.in
conclusion caterCorrect your spelling
In
a
platform for individuals so that they can evacuate their Change preposition
for a
bottled up
impressions and can lead to soothe chronic backlashes in catastrophic situations.
In summary, all aforementioned Add a hyphen
bottled-up
stand points
derive Correct your spelling
standpoints
to
a concrete inference that, every ritual, ceremony and world widely held occurrence which, endowing people Change preposition
apply
an
unprecedented opportunity to be more intimate and release their negative stifled sentiments can make the world much more superior dwelling for living and limit the field for oppressive governments to exert control ruthlessly.Change preposition
with an
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Task Response
Task response: Though you have made an attempt to respond to the topic, your response lacks a clear opinion which directly addresses the extent to which you agree or disagree. Make sure to include a clear thesis statement and directly answer the essay question in your introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks clear, logical progression of ideas. Paragraphs and sentences are poorly constructed, making the text difficult to follow. Ideas should flow in a logical order, and clear topic sentences should be used to commence each paragraph.
Supported Main Points
Supported Main Points: You have attempted to provide support for your main points but have not always used relevant examples or evidence. Consider providing more concrete examples and clearly link them to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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