As well as making money, businessess also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #businessess #responsibilities

It is undeniable that businesses are

profit-centre

Correct your spelling

profit-centred

show examples

institutions.

However

, others may think that businesses

also

have social objectives. I totally agree with

this

argument since nowadays, many

business

foundations are helping

society

in terms of education and household economics.

To begin

with, many

business

institutions have helped the community to pursue their education.

This

intention runs with dozens of scholarships offered by corporations for primary or secondary schoolers. Take me as an example. Back in 2016, I received a scholarship from the FMCG company to support my research during my project in my bachelor thesis. They gave monthly tuitions in a fantastic amount which was extremely valuable for me at that time.

Thus

that is

a shred of valid evidence to prove that despite being a

profit-center

Change the spelling

profit-centre

show examples

platform, businesses

also

have social purposes.

Moreover

, it cannot be refuted that

business

helps

society

to improve

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

economic status. Many corporations have a program to give special funds to poor people, whether it can be their direct employees, third parties, or even

society

who live around their workplace.

For instance

, in 2024, Unilever

declares

Wrong verb form

declared

show examples

that they

commit

Wrong verb form

committed

show examples

help

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

their co-worker who faces economic distress with the aim of giving a decent life for families and children as future generations.

As a result

, with the bounty given by

business

stakeholders, it can improve human life and become a perfect reflection for balancing between profit and social ends.

To sum up

, it is true that making money is a fundamental goal for

business

institutions.

However

, I believe that there are social sides which able to be executed by corporations,

such

as giving funds to help

society

in education and economic status.

Submitted by aidafathiaa on Thu Jan 04 2024

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task achievement

Your essay clearly responds to the task, with a position that is relevant and an opinion that is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas could be more comprehensive, possibly by adding more varied and detailed examples or by explicitly addressing a counterargument to strengthen your position.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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As well as making money, businessess also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that schools should teach foreign languages for primary school children. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?