Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that
poverty
is one of the issues
that is
hard to solve.
While
it is a commonly held belief that advanced nations should support the poor
countries
by other types rather than support them financially, there is
also
an argument that opposes it . In my opinion, I consider that financial aid alone is not enough to solve
poverty
.
To begin
with, supporting poor
countries
in their education system is one of the most effective ways rather than
money
.
In other words
, enhancing the education system and increasing awareness
Change preposition
of educationly
show examples
educationly
Correct your spelling
education
educationally
in poor nations could solve
poverty
and improve.
In addition
, most poor
countries
are suffering from diseases that are easy to heal, so supporting them in the healthcare sector to cure these diseases
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
than giving them
money
.
For example
, poor
countries
such
as Cameroon, Somalia, and Sudan for a long time have been suffering in Faver
due to
a shortage of the number of hospitals and medications. Another point to consider, investing
money
in these
countries
can solve
this
issue and It is beneficial for both rich and poor
countries
. It is
also
possible to say that if rich
countries
allocate some of their investing
money
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
poor
countries
, their investment will be successful and increase the economy in poor nations at the same time.
Moreover
, supporting these
countries
by giving them more sustainable technology for their
life special
Replace the word
lives, especially
show examples
in agriculture is crucial to solving
poverty
.
For instance
, the farmers in
countries
that face
poverty
such
as Sudan, and Somalia are still farming by their
hands
Correct word choice
own hands
show examples
, by giving them better materials and sustainable tools they will be better. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that without
underestimate
Wrong verb form
underestimating
show examples
the significant and important role of
money
in solving
poverty
in the world, I tend to
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that there are other types of support that could have the ability to solve
poverty
.
Submitted by isamifahad4 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and logical structures by organizing content into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that make the main idea of each paragraph explicit. Avoid using run-on sentences, and strive to present one idea per sentence.
coherence cohesion
Develop your essay with an introductory paragraph that clearly paraphrases the question and states your opinion. Each main body paragraph should contain a central idea followed by supporting sentences with examples or evidence. Finally, conclude with a paragraph that summarises your opinion and main points.
task achievement
To fully address the task, it is essential to cover all aspects of the prompt. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and offer a balanced view if your position is somewhere in the middle. Ensure that your ideas contribute directly to the arguments you are making in relation to the task.
task achievement
Improve clarity by breaking down complex ideas into digestible pieces. Use a variety of sentence structures and precise vocabulary to express your points more comprehensively. Aim to make your essay easy to follow, reducing ambiguity where possible.
task achievement
Enhance your response with specific examples that support your main points. References to real-world situations, studies, or data can provide a strong backing to your argument. Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the thesis and main points of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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