In many countries a small number of people earn extremely high salaries some people believe that this is good for the country, but other's think that goverments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In a lot of nations a minimum number of individuals receive a lot of money other people assume that
this
is nice for the state whilst, some argue that authority must not allow payments that are beyond that certain level.I personally think that,
it is very good for citizens to receive large amounts of pay because it encourages the rest of the tribe to work very hard.
In numerous provinces a tiny amount of human beings get paid lots of money Remove the comma
apply
this
is good for the state because the government will not run out of funds because they will be paying only less
people large amounts of money. If few people receive high wages it prevents the nation Correct quantifier usage
apply
to be
bankrupt unlike when the whole country is getting high salaries.
Change preposition
from being
However
, there are other humans who argue that leaders must not allow salaries above a certain level.This
is so because it will not be fair to the citizens as everyone will be working and also
paying taxes.The government must be just as well as
in a position to share the resources equally because everyone does have
the same rights.Wrong verb form
has
Submitted by karigaruvimbo on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction & Conclusion Structure
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, making it difficult to understand the overall argument. It's essential to have a well-defined structure with a clear thesis statement and a conclusive summary of the points made.
Logical Structure
The essay's ideas should be organized logically, with each paragraph discussing a single main point. Use transition words to improve the flow and make the argument more persuasive.
Supported Main Points
The main points need to be supported with specific examples and a more in-depth analysis. This will strengthen the argument and demonstrate a high level of understanding of the topic.
Complete Response
Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the question. Develop your points fully, relating directly back to the question prompt and ensuring all views are discussed alongside your own opinion.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
The clarity of ideas could be improved by focusing on creating cohesive arguments within each paragraph and using a wider range of vocabulary to accurately express your points.
Relevant Specific Examples
To achieve a higher score, incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be detailed and directly related to the topic to demonstrate a deeper understanding.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!