The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.

  Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

You should write at least 150 words.
The line graph depicts the comparison between the hits of
music
choice and pop parade from different numbers of
visitors
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the online website. The data is measured by the thousands of numbers for a
period
of fifteen
days
. By and large, the line graph clearly presented that there was a significant unstabled
number
of
people
using two kinds of online website
music
during the periods of time.
According to
the statistical data of the
number
of online
music
visitors
, the most popular
music
chosen by
people
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the website was pop parade,
while
music
choice became the least popular.
However
, turning to the details it could be plainly viewed that during the first three
days
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
music
parade
Add a comma
parade,
show examples
the
number
of
visitors
remained constant, which accounted for approximately 120
thousand
people
.
Nevertheless
, it declined dramatically between the fourth and the ninth
period
of time.
Then
it jumped rapidly in the next 3
days
until it peaked
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
150
thousand
people
in
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on
show examples
the 11th
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
and achieved the highest
number
of
people
at the end
of the
period
(170
thousand
). Turning to the contrast, the
visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
music
choice started in very small popularity, between 40 and 60
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
, in the beginning of time until day eleven.
In addition
to
this
, it showed a dramatic increase in the following
days
and it peaked at 120
thousand
.
However
,
at the end
of the
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
it plummeted sharply from 120
thousand
to around 70
thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words music, visitors, period, days, number, people, thousand with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Music sites
  • Web traffic
  • Number of visits
  • Trend analysis
  • Initial phase
  • Steady increase
  • Fluctuations
  • Significant change
  • Peaks
  • Turning point
  • Growth rate
  • Seasonal variation
  • Comparative analysis
  • Long-term trend
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