Children need to learn the age difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents or teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviors to children?
Juveniles should
be know
what is the Change the verb form
know
different
between right and wrong since at an early age. Sometimes, Replace the word
difference
Parents
or teachers need to give them reward
or Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
punishment
to establish their good Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
behaviors
. To make Fix the agreement mistake
behavior
human
with Add an article
a human
good
attitude should Correct article usage
a good
be
start Unnecessary verb
apply
from
little children. Change preposition
with
This
essay strongly agree
that Change the verb form
agrees
parents
should teach them and become role models for
Change preposition
at
their
early age.
First of all, Change the word
an
parents
become the first education and knowledge for individuals so as
Correct word choice
apply
parents
have the
important Correct article usage
an
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
for
building traits. Change preposition
in
For example
, when children do something bad or impolite to others, parents
should give them warning
but if it does not work, punishment is necessary.
Correct article usage
a warning
Secondly
, when we lost
Wrong verb form
lose
of
their education, they will take models from others. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, In the digital era, almost
people have social media and they can take Correct your spelling
most
much
information from that including Correct quantifier usage
apply
behaviors
and as a result
their attitude distracted
by it Add a missing verb
is distracted
such
as YouTube chanels
, tiktok, Correct your spelling
channels
channel
instagrams
etc. Correct your spelling
instagram
Furthermore
, their behaviors
will establish
from their idola from Wrong verb form
be established
internet
. Add an article
the internet
On the other hand
, when they do something good, we should give them reward
Add an article
a reward
such
as give
them a present when they Wrong verb form
giving
can
polite to others, so it will Verb problem
are
be balance
.
Change the verb form
be balanced
be balancing
To conclude
, I personally agree with this
statement that juveniles must know right and wrong start from early
age because it will Add an article
an early
make
their Verb problem
affect
behaviors
in the future. Sometimes, punishment is necessary when they do something wrong to give them effect, furthermore
they will not repeat their wrong again in the other days and bring good for their life.Add a comma
furthermore,
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task achievement
Your essay does address the topic, but the response is not fully developed. Your introduction presents a clear thesis, but the main body lacks depth, and your conclusion, albeit present, does not effectively summarize the discussion. A range of sentence structures and vocabulary is adequate but could be enhanced.
coherence cohesion
The organization of your essay presents an obvious attempt at a logical structure, but the ideas are not always connected in a clear and cohesive manner. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and all subsequent sentences build upon it. Transitions between paragraphs could also be strengthened to better signal the progression of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.