Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?
Achieving
success
in career or education has been targeted by many people
. Actually, a
Correct article usage
apply
success
could provide plenty of meanings
to these Fix the agreement mistake
meaning
people
. While
others are trying to define the meaning of success
, I would also
share my view about being successful, as this
essay will explain my possession.
Firstly
, the most common goal of targeting a successful life is become
wealthy. Fix the infinitive
to become
This
will also
depend on the community where they are involved, as people
are doing different assignment
for their livelihood. Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
For example
, people
who are working as employees would care about their salaries and career progressions, while
people
who work in education
sector would prioritize their research and degrees. Add an article
the education
As a result
, the success
orientation of these two sides will be going to
different directions.
Change preposition
in
Secondly
, I would say that being successful is an important goal in someone's life. While
most of
Change preposition
apply
people
would only care about money, wealth, or distinction, there is
more important Correct subject-verb agreement
are
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
such
as helping others. To be more precise, a person who is successful must have certain compassion, so their success
would be meaningful. As an example, a
richest man in the world gives some of his fortune to unfortunate Change the article
the
people
in order to fight against poverty.
In conclusion, A success
status could elaborate
different meanings within Verb problem
have
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Success
can be defined as living a complete life as people
are able to achive
their goals. Correct your spelling
achieve
However
, a
Remove the article
apply
success
is not just for some individuals, it must be for everybody. In addition
, in order to solve the world's problem we need these successful people
to be involved.Submitted by nadhif2799 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay seems to partially meet the requirements of the task. However, lack of specific examples to support your points and incomplete exploration of the topic prevented a higher score in task achievement. Ensure each main point is substantiated with relevant, illustrative examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the essay requires improvement. Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and ensure that there is a seamless transition between your ideas. Aim to present information in a manner that demonstrates clear progression from one concept to another.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!