IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #countries #world #challenges #environment #population #education #country #face #ten #years
Nowadays, there is no doubt that there is a significant change in all
areas
 like population,
education
 and environment worldwide including
my
Change preposition
in my
show examples
 country. The issues that
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 can face in upcoming
years
 are overcrowding with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 resources
as well as
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
.
However
, these issues can
recover
Wrong verb form
be recovered
show examples
 by using suitable
methods
such
 as
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
family planning
methods
, and by making
education
 compulsory. The following paragraphs will elucidate both stances in detail with lucid examples. To commence, the foremost issue will be overcrowding which means people are suffering from several health problems namely communicable diseases like COVID because of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 resources and less space to live. In
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
,
for instance
, 20% of the people are dying
due to
 these
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
 diseases like
maleria
Correct your spelling
malaria
 and the number is increasing
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. Apart from that, there will be
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 resources in the upcoming
years
due to
 overcrowding.
According to
 the U.S.A., there will be
scarity
Correct your spelling
security
scarcity
 of not only for food items but
also
 for living
areas
, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is not focusing on it now. On the other side,
this
 can be controlled by using proper
techiques
Correct your spelling
techniques
such
 as
eduacte
Correct your spelling
educate
 the community about family planning
methods
 and
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 benefits of it.
For example
, there should be some seminars on these
methods
 in the urban
as well as
 countryside
areas
.
As a result
, there will be control of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in the
few
Correct word choice
next few
show examples
years
.
Secondly
, the government should make
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
education
 compulsory
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 secondary
education
 which will be helpful not for society but
also
 for nations. In India,
for instance
, the prime minister
introduce
Change the verb form
introduces
show examples
 a program in which
education
 is free
Change preposition
for upto
show examples
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 14
years
. In a nutshell, there is no doubt that the upcoming
years
are
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
Correct your spelling
challenging
challening
Correct your spelling
challenging
 in all
areas
Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, fully developed body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion. The introduction should outline the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your stance without introducing new information. Develop your ideas fully so that the essay flows logically from one point to the next with appropriate transitions.
task achievement
A complete response to the task includes an exploration of all parts of the prompt, with a balanced discussion of each aspect. Ensure that your essay discusses the potential problems your country will face as well as how these problems can be overcome. Each point should be relevant and supported by examples or explanations from your own knowledge and experience.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: