IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You drive to work, but have recently had a problem parking your car at the office. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter describe the problem with the parking explain how this is affecting you suggest what should be done about the problem

#drive #work #car #office #manager
Dear Mr Collins, I am writing in order to inform you about the problem which I have had over the
last
 month with the small parking lot in front of our office. As you know, I always drive my car to work and arrive on time,
However
, it usually takes me nearly half an hour to park my car as the parking space is a bit narrower. Allow me to explain to you how seriously
this
 issue impacts me before commencing my work.
Firstly
, I have trouble finding the right place there.
Secondly
, I often have an argument with other workers who park their cars uncomfortably all the time. I enquire you to construct a new bigger parking as soon as possible or extend the old one. I hope you will reply to my letter positively and look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience. Yours sincerely, John
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the information is organized more logically. The points can be more clearly connected and transitions between them should flow more naturally.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and cohesive devices to better connect sentences and ideas within the letter.
task achievement
Include more detailed explanations and descriptions to fully extend and support your points.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea and provide several sentences to support each main idea, elaborating on the impact and possible resolutions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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