IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In recent years, many people have developed health problems due to leading highly sedentary lifestyles. What problems can arise from a lack of physical activity? What steps can be taken to encourage people to become more active?

In recent decades, the number of people living inactive lifestyles has increased significantly. I believe that identifying the causes of
this
Linking Words
 trend can help in developing appropriate solutions. A lack of physical activity can lead to various health problems. One major consequence is obesity, which is directly associated with sedentary behaviour and an
overall
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 inactive lifestyle.
This
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 condition
also
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 increases the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, and reduced self-esteem. To address
this
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 issue, governments could introduce initiatives
such
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 as cycle-to-work schemes and provide affordable public gyms, making exercise more accessible and encouraging individuals to incorporate physical activity into their daily routine. Another serious problem arising from inactivity is the impact on mental health. People who do not engage in regular exercise often experience higher levels of stress, anxiety, and low mood. These psychological issues can make individuals feel isolated from society. Raising public awareness about the dangers of a sedentary lifestyle is
therefore
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 essential. Educational institutions,
together with
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 parents and community organisations, can play a vital role in promoting the benefits of an active lifestyle and encouraging healthier habits from a young age. In conclusion,
although
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 inactive lifestyles contribute to both physical and mental health problems, these challenges can be mitigated through government action and community support. In my view, implementing effective programmes and educating society about the advantages of regular physical activity are important steps towards resolving
this
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 issue.

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task response
Make your answer show a clear view of the task. Say what harms come from less activity and give clear steps to fix it.
development
Add one or two extra real life examples or numbers to back up the points.
coherence
Use easier linking words to keep ideas connected, like also, then, but, and more.
language
Keep sentences simple and try to use short, straight lines rather than long, complex ones.
lexical resource
Watch long words that might not be easy for all readers. Use plain words where you can.
content
The essay shows a clear view on both physical and mental health.
planning
There are concrete ideas to help people be more active, such as cycle-to-work schemes and public gyms.
structure
The structure has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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