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Band 6

Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are thebenefits of travelling for the traveller?

#people #case #thebenefits #traveller
In recent times, travelling and exploring new things have become popular among people. In
this
 essay, I will first discuss the reason behind
this
 and
then
 followed by the benefits of travelling. The prominent reasons behind
this
 were so many cheap tour packages or travelling agencies and to influence of social media.
Firstly
, there is so much competition going on among the travelling
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 like Makemytrip, goibibo and many more because they offer so many options for travelling around the cities or to other provinces at a cheaper price for short and long-duration trips.
Secondly
, the travelling content on social media applications uploaded by friends, family and
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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expedition vloggers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 significantly increasing day by day.
For instance
, if you search for anything related to travelling,
such
 as hotels, or flight tickets it will track your search data history and it will show
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar videos and offers related to any holiday.
To begin
 with, the positive side of travelling is to know about the different cultures. By visiting the different parts of the country, explorer gets to know about their tradition, food, beliefs, languages and
livelihood
Fix the agreement mistake
livelihoods
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.
Further
, the other reason is to get a break from their busy work life because a lot of people work hard to earn their living expenses and rarely get the chance to relax from their busy schedule.
To conclude
, people travel more often than in the past because various options are available. It helps them to get the refreshment of lifetime experiences, and memories whether they travel alone or with their family and friends.
Submitted by amit.kumar96101 on

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task achievement
The overall task achievement is satisfactory. The essay addresses the prompt with relevant ideas, but responses could be strengthened by further developing explanations and increasing specificity in examples. Ensure all parts of the task are fully covered to improve the complete response score.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of the essay are fairly good, but clarity can be improved. The logical flow of ideas from sentence to sentence could be more seamless to better guide the reader. Further, leveraging a variety of linking words and phrases can add sophistication to the structure of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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