The use of mobile phone is an antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the development of technology, using smartphones has been popular in recent years and has impacted the individual lifestyle. It has been suggested that mobile

phones

Use synonyms

should be banned like smoking because of its drawback as smoking. In my opinion, I don’t accept

this

Linking Words

proposal because it is baseless and impossible. The use of mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

is not

Correct your spelling

show examples

antisocial as smoking.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the advantages and disadvantages of mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

are dependent on the user. Just as the object and usage of the smartphone of the owner is good or awful.

For example

Linking Words

, the government supplied smartphones as devices for poorer pupils to study online with their teacher during the

covid

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

pandemic.

Secondly

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, mobile

phones

Use synonyms

do not affect communication and people’s health as smoking

is leading

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

to some health problems.

For instance

Linking Words

, smoking harms the lungs of smokers and people around

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

while

Linking Words

individual

phones

Use synonyms

just influence the owner.

Moreover

Linking Words

, mobile

phones

Use synonyms

are

also

Linking Words

necessary and developing

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

life. Apparently, they help people contact each other from far away. It’s obvious that sons and daughters studying abroad can call a video and keep in touch with their parents .

Besides

Linking Words

, individual

phones

Use synonyms

provide news for users

fastly

Rephrase

fast

show examples

or they can check maps and weather forecasts

everytime

Replace the word

every time

show examples

if they want. To illustrate, people can read

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

up-to-date international news

Change preposition

show examples

their

phones

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I totally disagree that the use of mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

is antisocial. Correspondingly, mobile

phones

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

should not be banned

while

Linking Words

they don’t have

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

influence

Change preposition

show examples

smoking.

dohuyhoang

Jan 4, 2024

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introduction

Your introduction should clearly present your opinion on the given statement. While you stated that you don't accept the proposal, your introduction could have been more assertive by starting with a clear statement that previews the reasons why.

body paragraph

Aim to present one main idea per paragraph and develop it with a detailed example. Your second paragraph provides two separate main points, and while you touch on the benefits and role of smartphones during the pandemic, more specific examples or data would strengthen your point.

focus and development

It's important to ensure that your essay remains focused on the question. When discussing the necessity and benefits of mobile phones, relate it back to whether this supports your argument against banning them in the same way as smoking.

conclusion

Your conclusion successfully restates your opinion, but ideally, it should also briefly summarize the reasons you've provided throughout the essay. Strengthen your conclusion by clearly summarizing the main reason why mobile phones should not be banned.

coherence

Organize your thoughts coherently by planning the logical structure of the essay before you start writing. Make sure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one and leads to the next.

cohesion

To enhance cohesion, work on linking words and phrases. Although you've used some, there's room for improvement to ensure that ideas within and across paragraphs are connected more smoothly.

examples

Specific examples strengthen your arguments. Look for personal, historical, or current event examples that directly relate to the task and use them to support your main points.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

antisocial
social interactions
negative impacts
banning
regulated
completely banned
education
awareness campaigns
responsible
mobile phone use

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Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid job and the highest should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagre

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Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of people are now using the Internet to meet new people and socialize. Some people think this has brought people closer together, while others think people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (Duc)

You are going to visit the town where your friend went to university. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • explain why you will be visiting the town • give details of where you will be staying • ask your friend to recommend some evening entertainment.