Some people feel that playing computer games has a nagative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

#people #computer #games #nagative #impact #children #health #skills #lives

Years ago, children used to spend their free time playing

games

outside with friends or engaging in imaginative play, but now they are more likely to be found glued to a screen playing computer

games

. Some worry that

this

can be detrimental in terms of health and socialization,

while

others argue for the educational and cognitive benefits. Both views will be discussed in the essay,

as well as

why gaming needs to be carefully monitored by parents. Those who oppose gaming have strong points to make. The

first,

which is unrelated to the content of the

games

, is simply the impact on health of spending hours on a console or online. Young people have difficulty with moderation, and unless a parent supervises them, they could spend over five hours per day doing

this

. Obviously, obesity, diabetes, and posture problems can stem from

such

sedentary

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. The other issue is the social aspect. Since many

games

are played solo, opponents argue, there is little chance for interaction with peers.

This

lack of engagement during formative years can have long-term impacts on young people's ability to communicate, cooperate, and collaborate.

Nevertheless

, others claim that computer

games

can be beneficial. They suggest that creativity, problem-solving, and even teamwork are by-products of many modern

games

. Minecraft,

for instance

, requires players to create an entire world on their own, to 'survive' attacks, and

also

, when played online, to work with others to achieve goals. These skills are valuable beyond gaming and even beyond schooling in the workforce. As long as parents are careful to monitor what

games

their child is playing, there can be positive outcomes. In conclusion, sitting on a device for hours on end is definitely not a healthy way to spend leisure time.

However

, with supervision, children who play computer

games

can reap benefits that will serve them well in their adult lives.

Submitted by aquariusgirl17 on Sun Apr 28 2024

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Development

Continue to develop your arguments with a balanced view and ensure each point is well-supported with examples.

Linking

Consider integrating a wider range of linking phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

Vocabulary

Regularly practice writing on a variety of topics to further enrich your vocabulary and ability to express complex ideas.

Task Response

You effectively discussed both views on the impact of gaming on children's health and social skills, providing a balanced and comprehensive analysis.

Structure

Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making your arguments easy to follow.

Examples

The use of specific examples, such as Minecraft, to support your points was particularly effective in illustrating your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that playing computer games has a nagative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can solution

Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

There are debates about importantness of history in providing information abou

Some people think that robots are very important for human’s future development. Others, however, think that robots are a dangerous invention that could have negative effect on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.