Nowadays people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat a balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this?
One of the burning issues of today's world is how the
well-bening
of people Correct your spelling
well-being
are
affected by Correct subject-verb agreement
is
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
diet
and Fix the agreement mistake
diets
fastfoods
. Correct your spelling
fast foods
This
issue causes the
increase in the risk of health problems related to Correct article usage
an
diet
, like heart attack or intestine diseases. There are several reasons why people choose unhealthy food
over a suitable diet
, which make them go the wrong way.
One of the reasons of
having a poor quality Change preposition
for
food
regime is the lack of time. When an individual does not have enough time to cook a proper meal, he just grabs something to eat as fast as possible. Thus
, the best option for him would be fastfoods
which are full of unhealthy ingredients. But if he has enough time to prepare Correct your spelling
fast foods
a good
Remove the article
good food
a portion of good food
food
, he may choose his options wisely and cook a delicious meal which contains all necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
nutriants
. Correct your spelling
nutrients
Therefore
, people who are busy over weekdays should think of a way to consider their diet
, like cooking at weekends for the rest of the week.
Another reason would be the advertisement of low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
foods
. For example
, if a person often watches advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
of
Change preposition
for
sugery
drinks and pizzas, he would more likely tends to Correct your spelling
sugary
surgery
preferre
them over Correct your spelling
prefer
preferred
healtheir
Correct your spelling
healthy
foods
like vegetables and foods
with protein. Hence
, there should be a
supervision over Remove the article
apply
advertisement
of these products to avoid individuals Correct article usage
the advertisement
attracting
to unhealthy Wrong verb form
attracted
diet
. Fix the agreement mistake
diets
Also
, parents should warn their kids about these advertisements and make them aware of the importance of having a proper food
regime.
One other reason is that unfortunately, unhealthy foods
are usually more delicious than healthy foods
. The meals
which Correct article usage
Meals
contains
too much oil and saltCorrect subject-verb agreement
contain
,
Remove the comma
apply
increases
the ability of Change the verb form
increase
tounge
to feel the taste. So the Correct your spelling
tongue
food
tastes better than a normal food
with all important
ingredients. A recommendation would be Correct article usage
the important
using
spices Change the verb form
to use
for
make Change preposition
to
the
healthy Correct article usage
apply
foods
tastier.
Overall
, in today's industrial world, fastfoods
are everywhere and cheap and it makes it more difficult to remain on a balanced Correct your spelling
fast foods
diet
. Each person should put his well-being at
the first priority and avoid these Change preposition
as
foods
. Heath
organizations must do a better job Correct your spelling
Health
at
controlling these Change preposition
of
foods
.Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a fair understanding of the topic with an average logical structure. However, to improve coherence, consider a more clear and logically ordered progression of ideas. Transition words can help lead the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, work on creating a stronger hook in the introduction and a more summarized and impactful conclusion that reinforces your main points.
coherence cohesion
Main ideas are somewhat supported, but the supporting sentences should be expanded to fully elaborate on the points you are making. Providing specific examples and data can strengthen your argument and make your point more convincing.
task achievement
You addressed the task with relevant ideas on poor eating habits and their reasons. To enhance your score in task achievement, ensure that all parts of the prompt are thoroughly answered and explored.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear but could be developed with more sophistication and depth. For a higher score, introduce more complex sentence structures and demonstrate a higher level of critical thinking in your response.
task achievement
Specific examples were provided but could be more detailed and relevant to your argument. Use real-world instances, statistics, or studies to substantiate your points and give more credibility to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.