Nowadays people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat a balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this?

One of the burning issues of today's world is how the
well-bening
Correct your spelling
well-being
of people
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
affected by
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
and
fastfoods
Correct your spelling
fast foods
.
This
issue causes
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase in the risk of health problems related to
diet
, like heart attack or intestine diseases. There are several reasons why people choose unhealthy
food
over a suitable
diet
, which make them go the wrong way. One of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
having a poor quality
food
regime is the lack of time. When an individual does not have enough time to cook a proper meal, he just grabs something to eat as fast as possible.
Thus
, the best option for him would be
fastfoods
Correct your spelling
fast foods
which are full of unhealthy ingredients. But if he has enough time to prepare
a good
Remove the article
good food
a portion of good food
show examples
food
, he may choose his options wisely and cook a delicious meal which contains all
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
nutriants
Correct your spelling
nutrients
.
Therefore
, people who are busy over weekdays should think of a way to consider their
diet
, like cooking at weekends for the rest of the week. Another reason would be the advertisement of
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
foods
.
For example
, if a person often watches
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
sugery
Correct your spelling
sugary
surgery
drinks and pizzas, he would more likely tends to
preferre
Correct your spelling
prefer
preferred
them over
healtheir
Correct your spelling
healthy
foods
like vegetables and
foods
with protein.
Hence
, there should be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
supervision over
advertisement
Correct article usage
the advertisement
show examples
of these products to avoid individuals
attracting
Wrong verb form
attracted
show examples
to unhealthy
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
.
Also
, parents should warn their kids about these advertisements and make them aware of the importance of having a proper
food
regime. One other reason is that unfortunately, unhealthy
foods
are usually more delicious than healthy
foods
.
The meals
Correct article usage
Meals
show examples
which
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
too much oil and salt
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
the ability of
tounge
Correct your spelling
tongue
to feel the taste. So the
food
tastes better than a normal
food
with all
important
Correct article usage
the important
show examples
ingredients. A recommendation would be
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
spices
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy
foods
tastier.
Overall
, in today's industrial world,
fastfoods
Correct your spelling
fast foods
are everywhere and cheap and it makes it more difficult to remain on a balanced
diet
. Each person should put his well-being
at
Change preposition
as
show examples
the first priority and avoid these
foods
.
Heath
Correct your spelling
Health
show examples
organizations must do a better job
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
controlling these
foods
.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a fair understanding of the topic with an average logical structure. However, to improve coherence, consider a more clear and logically ordered progression of ideas. Transition words can help lead the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, work on creating a stronger hook in the introduction and a more summarized and impactful conclusion that reinforces your main points.
coherence cohesion
Main ideas are somewhat supported, but the supporting sentences should be expanded to fully elaborate on the points you are making. Providing specific examples and data can strengthen your argument and make your point more convincing.
task achievement
You addressed the task with relevant ideas on poor eating habits and their reasons. To enhance your score in task achievement, ensure that all parts of the prompt are thoroughly answered and explored.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear but could be developed with more sophistication and depth. For a higher score, introduce more complex sentence structures and demonstrate a higher level of critical thinking in your response.
task achievement
Specific examples were provided but could be more detailed and relevant to your argument. Use real-world instances, statistics, or studies to substantiate your points and give more credibility to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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