In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation

Recently, there has been a growing number of highly qualified

graduates

without work. I believe

this

is caused by limited job opportunities and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

soft skill

Add a hyphen

soft-skill

show examples

graduates

This

problem can be solved by the government and academic institutions playing a significant role in solving

this

problem. Despite the fact that many universities produce highly qualified

graduates

, there are only a few job opportunities. The number of

graduates

is higher than available

jobs

Therefore

, in spite of having a high qualification, many

graduates

are still unable to find a job. To tackle

this

issue, the government should provide more

jobs

, so they can create a policy to encourage

self employment

Add a hyphen

self-employment

show examples

by providing entrepreneurship courses and

also

capital so that more people can own a business.

This

will create new worker opportunities. Another factor is the fact that the

graduates

do not have the soft

skills

that many companies need. Take communication

skills

as an example. It can help people to communicate with other people or their bosses

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and helps their presentation with their good public speaking.

This

problem could be addressed by adjusting the university curriculum which caters to highly essential soft

skills

such

as communication and presentation. By doing

this

, the university does not only produce

graduates

with highly qualified hard

skills

but

also

possess

Correct subject-verb agreement

possesses

show examples

the practical

skills

to perform effectively in a working environment.

To sum up

, many highly qualified

graduates

are unemployed in developed countries because there are only a few

jobs

available and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of communication

skills

from the

graduates

. The government should create more

jobs

by having an entrepreneurship policy

while

the university can incorporate practical

skills

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

curriculum.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Jan 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, you need to ensure that the transition between your ideas is smoother to increase coherence. Use a variety of linking devices to connect your sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

task achievement

While you have addressed the prompt, you should aim to discuss the points in more depth. Provide a wider range of ideas and support them with more specific examples. Illustrate your points with precise data, research findings, or anecdotes for a stronger argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The qualities and skills that a person requires to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that the influence of politicians is greater. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?