In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Recently, there has been a growing number of highly qualified
graduates
without work. I believe
this
is caused by limited job opportunities and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
soft skill
Add a hyphen
soft-skill
show examples
graduates
.
This
problem can be solved by the government and academic institutions playing a significant role in solving
this
problem. Despite the fact that many universities produce highly qualified
graduates
, there are only a few job opportunities. The number of
graduates
is higher than available
jobs
.
Therefore
, in spite of having a high qualification, many
graduates
are still unable to find a job. To tackle
this
issue, the government should provide more
jobs
, so they can create a policy to encourage
self employment
Add a hyphen
self-employment
show examples
by providing entrepreneurship courses and
also
capital so that more people can own a business.
This
will create new worker opportunities. Another factor is the fact that the
graduates
do not have the soft
skills
that many companies need. Take communication
skills
as an example. It can help people to communicate with other people or their bosses
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and helps their presentation with their good public speaking.
This
problem could be addressed by adjusting the university curriculum which caters to highly essential soft
skills
such
as communication and presentation. By doing
this
, the university does not only produce
graduates
with highly qualified hard
skills
but
also
possess
Correct subject-verb agreement
possesses
show examples
the practical
skills
to perform effectively in a working environment.
To sum up
, many highly qualified
graduates
are unemployed in developed countries because there are only a few
jobs
available and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of communication
skills
from the
graduates
. The government should create more
jobs
by having an entrepreneurship policy
while
the university can incorporate practical
skills
in
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
curriculum.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, you need to ensure that the transition between your ideas is smoother to increase coherence. Use a variety of linking devices to connect your sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
While you have addressed the prompt, you should aim to discuss the points in more depth. Provide a wider range of ideas and support them with more specific examples. Illustrate your points with precise data, research findings, or anecdotes for a stronger argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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