In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation

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Recently, there has been a growing number of highly qualified

graduates

Use synonyms

without work. I believe

this

Linking Words

is caused by limited job opportunities and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

soft skill

Add a hyphen

soft-skill

show examples

graduates

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

problem can be solved by the government and academic institutions playing a significant role in solving

this

Linking Words

problem. Despite the fact that many universities produce highly qualified

graduates

Use synonyms

, there are only a few job opportunities. The number of

graduates

Use synonyms

is higher than available

jobs

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, in spite of having a high qualification, many

graduates

Use synonyms

are still unable to find a job. To tackle

this

Linking Words

issue, the government should provide more

jobs

Use synonyms

, so they can create a policy to encourage

self employment

Add a hyphen

self-employment

show examples

by providing entrepreneurship courses and

also

Linking Words

capital so that more people can own a business.

This

Linking Words

will create new worker opportunities. Another factor is the fact that the

graduates

Use synonyms

do not have the soft

skills

Use synonyms

that many companies need. Take communication

skills

Use synonyms

as an example. It can help people to communicate with other people or their bosses

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and helps their presentation with their good public speaking.

This

Linking Words

problem could be addressed by adjusting the university curriculum which caters to highly essential soft

skills

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as communication and presentation. By doing

this

Linking Words

, the university does not only produce

graduates

Use synonyms

with highly qualified hard

skills

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

possess

Correct subject-verb agreement

possesses

show examples

the practical

skills

Use synonyms

to perform effectively in a working environment.

To sum up

Linking Words

, many highly qualified

graduates

Use synonyms

are unemployed in developed countries because there are only a few

jobs

Use synonyms

available and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of communication

skills

Use synonyms

from the

graduates

Use synonyms

. The government should create more

jobs

Use synonyms

by having an entrepreneurship policy

while

Linking Words

the university can incorporate practical

skills

Use synonyms

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

curriculum.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Jan 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, you need to ensure that the transition between your ideas is smoother to increase coherence. Use a variety of linking devices to connect your sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

task achievement

While you have addressed the prompt, you should aim to discuss the points in more depth. Provide a wider range of ideas and support them with more specific examples. Illustrate your points with precise data, research findings, or anecdotes for a stronger argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, individuals or their employers pay for medical treatment. Should the government be more responsible for the health of their citizens? Discuss and give your opinion.

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say band that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

In some counntries, the cost of living is rapidly increasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society?

Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, which has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree ot disagree with this statement?