IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many things that used to be done in the house by hand, are now being done by machines, Does this development brings more advantages or disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The technology century has promoted a wide range of electronic
machines
Use synonyms
 for humans.
This
Linking Words
 tendency would lead to house workers using
machines
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of man-made ways.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks as it is much more convenient.
This
Linking Words
 essay will expound on both views and conclude the topic. On the one hand, most of the development of the pro is to be beneficial for human nature. More and more advanced technological household appliances have been launched for a few decades
such
Linking Words
 as an electronic dishwasher.
This
Linking Words
 product tends to save many house workers time owing to the contribution to their entertainment.
In addition
Linking Words
, the other benefit of a rice cooker is to be more convenient.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the 18 century, there was been promoted the first rice cooker in Japan, and
this
Linking Words
 resulted in the contribution of a large number of women have prepared their meals for families.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the majority of cons development is reliance on electronic products for mankind,
for example
Linking Words
, in my city, which has many electronic
machines
Use synonyms
 applied to consumers opting for their day-to-day.
Thus
Linking Words
, some environmental ecologists indicated that a huge amount of these products were garbage and sent them to landfills. In light of
this
Linking Words
, it leads to the harmfulness of environmental pollution. In conclusion, based on the statements above, the pros are beneficial and convenient for humans,
whereas
Linking Words
 the cons are reliance on
machines
Use synonyms
 and environmental pollution.
However
Linking Words
, I believe it is an advantageous development and the benefits that bring about exceed its drawbacks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits a basic logical structure but lacks depth in paragraph development. Consider using a variety of complex sentence structures and more cohesive devices like linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance readability and flow.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, responses need to be more developed with relevant details and examples. The essay should offer deeper insights and elaboration on points made. Make sure to fully address all parts of the task, including clear arguments for and against, supported by examples, to achieve a higher score.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: