A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exloited and that thery should have the same rights as humans, while others arque that humans must employ animals to satsisfy their various needs, including for food and research.
Although
, a group of people
believe th
Correct your spelling
that
animals
should have the same equal level of rights
as humans
. So, it should not be exploited by people
. I agree with the people
who believe humans
can use animals
as their food and for research purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
also
.
On the one hand, a group of people
feel that animals
should not be expoited
. Because, in their Correct your spelling
exploited
exported
perspective
they view every living as common and all Add a comma
perspective,
animals
should have their own rights
to make a life in the world based on their level and abilities. We human
as a living creature Fix the agreement mistake
humans
does
not have any kind of Correct subject-verb agreement
do
rights
to hurt or exploit any other Fix the agreement mistake
right
animals
. For example
, people
with sensitive behaviour and see animals
as their family end up with belief
that Correct article usage
the belief
animals
should not be hurted
in all the Correct your spelling
hurt
way
possible.
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
On the other hand
, a number of people
believe that humans
can consume animals
as food and use it for research purpose
. I agree with his opinion because, Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
animals
are good source
of various kinds of nutrients and In order to understand their physiology and their behaviour, it could be used for Fix the agreement mistake
sources
experiment
Replace the word
experimental
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
also
. For instance
, animal meat contain
rich protein and it helps to maintain and grow different muscle groups in the body, it Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
also
helps to create a balanced diet for healthy living.
In conclusion, some people
believe that animals
should not be exploited by humans
and have their own rights
as equal to humans
. But, i
agree with the opinion that Change the capitalization
I
people
can consume animals
as their food source and use it for experimentation.Submitted by insighttribez on
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coherence cohesion
The essay's argument has some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always logical or smooth. Try to improve the linkage between ideas and the overall flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they lack a clear thesis statement and summarization of main points. Work on sharpening your opening and closing paragraphs to make your position unequivocal.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are stated, but not all are developed with ample support or example. Strengthen your essay by providing more detailed explanations and adding more specific, relevant examples.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task only partially. It should cover both views and provide reasons for your position with more balanced discussion before conclusion. Ensure to explore all aspects of the question with depth, giving a fair view of both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are at times unclear and not fully developed. Make your ideas comprehensive by explaining them completely, using clear and precise language.
task achievement
You need to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. Generic statements are not as convincing as those backed up with concrete examples or evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
