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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people nowadays tend to marry and have children in their thirties rather than at a younger age. Is this a positive or negative development?

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In contemporary society, a growing number of individuals are opting to marry and start a family in their thirties, as opposed to a younger age. In my opinion,
this
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 is certainly a positive development because, at
this
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 stage,
people
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 will be financially stable and more mature.
Firstly
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, when
people
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 are in their thirties, they have mostly already had a stable job.
In other words
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, most of them have their own savings, insurance, house, or even cars.
Due to
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this
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 fact, they will be well prepared to get married and have a comfortable life with their partners and future children.
For example
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, in most developed countries,
such
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 as the United States, the majority of
people
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 choose to build their families only after they have bought their own properties because
this
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 will secure them a happy married life. Clearly,
this
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 cannot be achieved when
people
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 are still young. The possibility of divorce is very high when the breadwinner in the family is not providing enough for the house.
Secondly
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, when
people
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 are in their thirties, they are more mature.
That is
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 to say, they can handle conflicts better than those who are younger.
This
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 is because they are more calm, and they often discuss their problems in positive ways. Young
people
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 are usually egotistical, and they always make decisions without thinking about the consequences. Because of
this
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, many
people
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 choose to separate, even with a simple argument.
To sum up
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, I once again believe that getting married at the age of 30 is definitely a great thing because of financial security and maturity.
Hence
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,
people
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 should change their perceptions about it.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure, including a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each main idea should be elaborated in its own body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples wherever possible. This enriches your content and makes your arguments more persuasive. Make sure these examples are relevant and clearly linked to your main points.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task and make sure your essay provides a balanced view on the topic. While it's important to express your opinion, it's also important to consider and acknowledge potential counterarguments or different perspectives.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas in your essay. Doing so requires you to fully develop each point with explanations and examples to support your arguments.
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