IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful ti individuals and to society. To what extend do you agree or disagree

#trend #reports #media #focus #emergencies #development #people #ti #individuals #society
In
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 present
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
, media plays a vital role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. One of the most recent trends of today's world is the upsurge in focusing on
rreporting
Correct your spelling
reporting
problems
 and
emergencies
. There is a widespread belief
aamong
Correct your spelling
among
people
 that thing is a popular subject of debate. In my perspective focusing on
problems
 and
emergencies
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more positive things than negative
once
Correct your spelling
ones
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why important focus on
problems
 and
emergencies
 as opposed
ti
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 positive development.
On the other hand
, critics may point out some drawbacks,
also
 they might
tekl
Correct your spelling
tell
 that it gives
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
anxiety and pressure to
people
. As an exam
russian
Change the capitalization
Russian
show examples
 war. Apart from that,
people
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
depression
Replace the word
depressed
show examples
 after reading sad news
such
 as disasters.
As well as
Rephrase
Also
show examples
 young
people
Add a missing verb
are addict
show examples
addict
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
 criminal cases when they see criminal
problems
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,there are a number of arguments
im
Correct your spelling
in
 favour of my stance. Mainly,
people
 may think
How
Change preposition
about How
show examples
overcome
Add the particle
to overcome
show examples
problems
 if
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
 aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
emergencies
.
For instance
,
Correct article usage
the tunami
show examples
tunami
Correct your spelling
tsunami
 disaster in 2004.
Lot
Change the article
A lot
show examples
 of
people
 helped helpless
people
 at
ththose
Correct your spelling
those
mmoment
Correct your spelling
moment
.
Secondly
,
people
 are well aware of social
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
such
 as robbery.
Furthermore
,
people
 survive any bad situation like fuel
problems
. So they can use public transportation
instead
 of private transport. In view of the argument outlined above,we can conclude that,despite having some drawbacks, the benefits of
ffocusing
Correct your spelling
focusing
 on
problems
 and
emergencies
 in society are indeed too dire to ignore.
Submitted by dshansika97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. This includes having well-defined paragraphs, each of which should present a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should be present and clearly state your position or summarize your main points. Make sure your conclusion effectively wraps up the discussion rather than introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with clear explanations, examples, and arguments. Each idea should be expanded with relevant details to demonstrate your understanding and engagement with the topic.
task achievement
Respond to the task directly, fully answering the question. Be sure to address all parts of the prompt in your essay, and show a clear position throughout the response.
task achievement
Develop your ideas comprehensively. Use the essay to showcase depth and breadth of thought, ensuring that examples are relevant and fully explained. Avoid vague statements that don't add to the argument.
task achievement
Use specific examples to back up your points. They should be directly related to the topic and effectively illustrate your argument. Avoid generic statements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!