As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the user should pay for the cost. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In recent years, the ever-increasing number of cars has led to a need for additional investment in
road
systems
.
While
some people argue that the authorities take responsibility for the cost, others believe that
users
should pay for it. The essay will discuss both sides of the argument and explain why I support the former. There are some compelling reasons why many people believe that
users
should pay for
road
systems
.
This
is because drivers are the primary beneficiaries of roads,
therefore
, they should cover the costs of their maintenance and improvement. The government invests in roads to ensure that cars can travel smoothly,
consequently
, charging tolls to the
users
would be reasonable.
Besides
, making the
users
financially responsible for
road
systems
could discourage those who plan to buy cars and encourage the use of alternative vehicles.
This
could in turn reduce gas emissions and traffic jams, which ultimately leads to a fresher environment. Despite the above argument, I believe that the relevant authority should bear the cost of improving the
road
systems
.
Firstly
, the cost associated with constructing
such
infrastructures often exceeds the financial capacity of the individuals.
Road
construction
also
involves a complex planning and approval process that can increase costs
further
.
Secondly
, the government collects taxes from citizens annually for public projects, including improving
road
systems
.
Therefore
, they have an obligation to allocate a financial budget to widen or upgrade those
systems
. In conclusion,
although
each user should contribute to the public
road
systems
, the government should take care of the financial matters.
This
ensures a well-organized taxation system based on the support of the citizens.
Submitted by oanhhkpsy on

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coherence cohesion
As an IELTS Examiner, I would advise you to enhance your logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between points and avoiding abrupt shifts in argumentation. Make sure each paragraph flows naturally into the next, with clear signposting language.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but you should aim to make your thesis statement more prominent in the introduction and reiterate your central arguments more decisively in the conclusion for maximum impact.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points more effectively, incorporate a wider range of examples and data. While you have provided some reasoning behind your arguments, substantiating them with specific examples will significantly enhance the strength of your essay.
task achievement
Your response is complete, but to achieve a higher score, present a more thorough exploration of the task question. A nuanced discussion that weighs both views before stating your opinion would be more compelling.
task achievement
The ideas in your essay are clear but could be developed further for a more comprehensive discussion. Consider expanding on your points with more details and a deeper analysis of the implications and consequences of each view.
task achievement
To enhance your score in the domain of task achievement, focus on incorporating relevant and specific examples that directly support your arguments. This will help the examiner see that you can apply abstract ideas to real-world contexts, which is a key component of the band descriptors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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