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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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The advancement of
technology
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 today opts to bring practicality to our daily lives.
This
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 condition has a number of benefits and drawbacks that will be discussed in
this
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 article. One of the most common advantages that
people
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 take from modern
technology
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 is the convenience that it brings. Many years ago, we lived in an environment where to connect with distant relatives, we were required to make a cellular call, which would have cost so much. Fast backwards to the 80s,
people
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 there still relied on postmen, when they would deliver letters to distant ones, which would take days. Nowadays, there is OTT, a software that provides facilitation to communicate through only an internet connection. Compared to the previous era, the latest one has simplified our lives. Because of the
technology
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, we are able to connect to
people
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 all over the world.
Moreover
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,
technology
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also
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 brings simplicity to doing tasks or businesses.
For instance
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, we could finish the school tasks by having an online discussion. Not surprisingly, society now tends to prefer doing activities using
technology
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. Despite the obvious appeal, the improvement of
this
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 automated stuff brings some downsides, One of the effects is the ignorance of
people
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. As they now rely on tech and gadgets so much, sometimes they forget to socialize with others.
This
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 leads to a declining number of society’s sensitivity. Unlike the OTT which the vision is to connect
people
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 all over the earth,
technology
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,
on the other hand
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, drifts
people
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 apart.
This
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 is because of a psychological condition that they experience, where they feel more comfortable alone than
to gather
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gathering
show examples
 with others. Unconsciously, these multiple issues that the community experiences will possibly affect their mental condition. In conclusion, modern
technology
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 breaks the boundaries of
people
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’s lives.
However
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, more and more
people
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 are becoming ignorance and selfless, which leads to psychological and mental issues if we do not start to think of preventives as soon as possible,

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coherence cohesion
Structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a central idea and stick to it throughout the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Connect your ideas more smoothly using a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more clear and comprehensive explanations of the advantages and disadvantages of technology with a focus on how it impacts human connections.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to illustrate your points more effectively. This helps to demonstrate the real-world implications of the topic at hand.
task achievement
Present a clear opinion on the issue with supporting arguments in the conclusion to fulfill the requirements of the task response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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