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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.You should write at least 150 words.

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.You should write at least 150 words.
#information #price #bananas #four #countries #report #university #lecturer #summarise #features #comparisons
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The graph provides information about the
prices
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 (US $ per
kg
Use synonyms
) of
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 in four
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as
Japan
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,
France
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,
Germany
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 and
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 from 1994 to 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Japan
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 and
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 after having some fluctuations in
Use synonyms
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
 of
bananas
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 experienced an upward
tend
Correct your spelling
trend
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
France
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 and
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Germany
Change noun form
Germany's
show examples
 selling
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 decreased a little bit in the end.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,In 1994 1
kg
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 of
bananas
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costed
Correct your spelling
cost
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 approximately 1.8$ in
Japan
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 which was almost
20cents
Correct your spelling
20 cents
 more than the price in
France
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 in the same year .In terms of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
princes
Correct your spelling
price
show examples
 of
bananas
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 in
remained
Wrong verb form
the remaining
show examples
countries
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,
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 around 1,4$ and 0,9$ respectively.In the next year,
Japan
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 and
USA
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 displayed a significant increase in
bananas
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prices
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 to almost 3$ and 1.2$,
while
Linking Words
 in
Germany
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 the cost of
bananas
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 per
kg
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 declined slightly to 1.3$.Until 2001
Japan
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 was the leader of the most expensive
bananas
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amoung
Correct your spelling
among
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 four
countries
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,
nevertheless
Linking Words
,in 2001 the price of
bananas
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 surpassed
Japan
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 and was
its
Change preposition
at its
show examples
 highest point(around
1.7$per
Correct your spelling
1.7$ per
kg
Use synonyms
)in that year.
However
Linking Words
,
Japan
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 undertook
France
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 in the
prices
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 of
bananas
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 and stayed on top over the years.
Lastly
Linking Words
,the
prices
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 of
bananas
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 in
Germany
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 and in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 in the vicinity of 1$ and 1.5$
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period.
Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words prices, kg, countries, japan, france, germany, usa, bananas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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