Some people believe that children in schools should learn how advertisements motivate us to buy things. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.
Talking about materials that students should learn in class raises different opinions. Some people think that
kids
have to study about
how far the effect of broadcast on consumer purchase decisionsChange preposition
apply
.
Well, in my opinion, that Add a missing verb
is.
subject
matter is not suitable for kids
due to
their childhood innocence and academic priorities.
Nowadays, advertisement media have grown so fast which is crucial to
us gain an understanding of how they work. Change preposition
for to
However
, this
major is far beyond for children to learn at their age. Since their cognitive skill is still not completely mature like adults, they will have difficulty learning. In this
stage of age, they are still innocent. As an illustration, when I was a child, my main focus in school was to play games with my friends. Therefore
, applying the publication subject
will burden them, and it can lead to demotivation.
Furthermore
, academy
curriculum should focus more on academic and practical subjects which have a direct contribution to children's development. Schools have to be able to develop learning materials that are not only good but Correct article usage
the academy
also
fun. For example
, they can arrange a study trip to nature in order to learn more about the environment. Combining theory and practice will make it easy for students to understand. This
kind of subject
is much more needed by kids
rather than pushes them to analyse consumer behaviour.
To sum up
, I want to notice once again that kids
should not be burdened by advanced majors such
as explaining advertisements. This
subject
may be more proper to apply to high school students as kids
do not have rational reasoning in their ages. In addition
, they have more crucial priorities to learn for instance
mathematics and science.Submitted by mmmuuu on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer and better-developed argument structure. Try using paragraphs effectively to separate your ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are directly linked to this main idea. Avoid general statements and provide specific examples to illustrate your points.
task achievement
While you have addressed the prompt, the extent of your response could be expanded. It's also important to ensure that your personal opinion is consistently clear throughout the essay. Consider adding more detailed examples to support your claims, and directly address both sides of the argument to enhance the balance and depth of your essay.
