Some people think that art lessons, such as painting and drawing lessons, should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
art
subjects must be thought
in secondary Verb problem
taught
schools
. I completely agree that this
development because of drawing and painting would improve student's creative thinking and reduce stress level
.
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
Art
is a great language mainly because it may be a creative thought of some person. This
can be a
outcome of any person's attitude and Change the article
an
their
personality which emerged Correct pronoun usage
apply
by
their hidden creativity. If Change preposition
from
art
is taught as a subject
in schools
, children can learn lot
of things and perform their Change the article
a lot
immaginations
Correct your spelling
imaginations
imagination
into
a piece of paper.For Change preposition
on
an
example, today many Correct article usage
apply
schools
provide facilities on
learning Change preposition
for
art
as a subject
not only in secondary schools
but also
in primary and tertiary education although
it's selected as a
advanced Change the article
an
subject
.Creativity is very essential in life to innovate new things to
the world.
Lessons related to Change preposition
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
art
can be a better medication on
reducing stress Change preposition
for
level
.Today many Fix the agreement mistake
levels
of
students are trapped by Change preposition
apply
overload
of study materials Add an article
the overload
an overload
and
which Correct word choice
apply
sometime
leads Replace the word
sometimes
anxiety
.Change preposition
to anxiety
This
tension could drive aggressive peron
in the future. Correct your spelling
people
For instance
, according to
the
number of Correct article usage
a
researches
, they found that Correct your spelling
researchers
art
is one of a
key Correct article usage
the
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
on
reducing crime rates Change preposition
of
of
a country. As a Change preposition
in
subject
, it helps children to learn from the beginning at their young age to be a calm peron
.
In conclusion, I believe that Correct your spelling
person
art
is a wonderful lesson to escalate students
creativity which Change noun form
students'
student's
lead
them innovative peron in future. Change the verb form
leads
Furthermore
, it would be a better influencer to reduce the extra pressure on studies and drive children a calm person.Submitted by Praslah on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically sequenced and paragraphs smoothly transition from one to the next. The essay could benefit from a clearer progression of ideas for stronger coherence.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and clear, the argument can be strengthened by connecting your conclusion more directly to your introduction points, summarizing your stance more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, but the supporting details could be more developed with specific examples and clearer explanations to reinforce your arguments.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task at hand, but be sure to address the prompt fully and expand on all parts of the question for a more complete response.
task achievement
Ideas are clear, but strive for greater depth and more comprehensive explanations throughout to convey your viewpoints more persuasively.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing. Avoid generalizations and use concrete evidence to back up your claims.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite