Using a computer every day can have more negative than postive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

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At the end
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of 10th grade, I explored a new sphere with outrageous potential, Web 3.0.
This
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field is about speculating digital pictures that have value in
this
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community. At the beginning of my way, I started taking courses , and
then
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day by day I made NFT a part of my daily routine and
consequently
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, I started earning my livelihood.
However
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, after 1 year,
while
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working I spotted that very talented creators who are constantly making high-quality NFTs went unnoticed by the community. At
this
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point, I realized that I wanted to help them and started planning my own ecosystem, where artists could buy a place at my
project
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and
then
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I could send out their creations to every volunteer for free, for just entering 1 use code that can be obtained from other accounts every 2 weeks, every month,
moreover
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, these NFTs can be sold in platforms
such
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as magiceden.io, tensor.trade, coral.cube. So, everyone has their own profit, people can receive NFTs from artists and are able to evaluate them, and
also
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sell them to get money, as a head of
this
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project
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I may receive money from artists. Now, it is my dream to materialize
this
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concept.
However
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, to do it, I must
study
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finances at an academic degree because
this
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idea directly demands working with budget, controlling finances may avoid some big budget spaces in the lifecycle of
this
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project
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. Despite
this
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idea, helping
community
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the community
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is in my blood. At
academic
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the academic
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level
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level,
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I invented
brand-new
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a brand-new
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project
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called "АфорБот"(AforBot) that helps people
to
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apply
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learn
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the kazakh
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kazakh
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Kazakh
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language, by providing them test styled questions, for every right answer they have 1 minute of electricity that they can use to charge their devices. For
this
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innovation
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innovation,
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I received several prizes in local and republican
competetions
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competitions
,
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apply
show examples
and got the copyright for my idea.
This
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machine was highly evaluated
among
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by
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professors, society and IT specialists. I enjoy helping society to enhance their skills
either
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in either
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language or NFT. To work in Web 3.0 it is necessary to have high-speed internet.
Last
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year, my friend was accepted to
study
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in
Hungary
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and his first expression was that
Hungary
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has much faster internet speed than Kazakhstan. I was astonished and immediately went to search for some rankings. Unfortunately, Kazakhstan
ranked
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apply
show examples
was ranked at the bottom of the ranking, but
Hungary
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was in the top 20. I was amazed and interviewed him and turned out that he applied to
Hungary
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with a special program - Stipendium Hungaricum. It was convenient to me because I explored the tremendous number of universities and
program
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programs
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offers
Correct pronoun usage
that offers
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full
scholarship
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scholarships
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. Since
,
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apply
show examples
I am working in Web 3.0, it did not mean that my family could afford me to
study
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abroad and
this
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program opened all the locked doors toward studying in
foreign
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a foreign
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country. I am sure that
Hungary
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will provide me with a high-quality education and will be the most convenient place to
study
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Finances and implement my goal of creating my own ecosystem in the ocean called NFT.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks an introduction directly addressing the question. Begin with a clear statement of agreement or disagreement to establish the purpose of the essay.
complete response
The essay does not maintain focus on the effects of computer usage on young children. Stay on topic by providing specific examples and analyses directly related to the essay question.
introduction conclusion present
There is an absence of conclusion that brings the essay full circle. Ensure to include a conclusion that summarizes the key points and restates your position on the topic.
logical structure
The essay should be organized into clear paragraphs with each paragraph focusing on a single idea related to the question's statement.
logical structure
Use transitional phrases to enhance the flow from one idea to another, ensuring coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
Support your main points with examples directly related to the effects of daily computer use on children, providing clear explanations for how they demonstrate your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas fully by explaining how your examples are relevant to young children and the implications of computer use, focusing on either the negative or positive effects.
relevant specific examples
Use specific examples that are directly related to young children and the daily use of computers to strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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