In many countries around the world, rural peoples are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Although
countryside areas
are free from some environmental problems but
Remove the conjunction
apply
people
deciding
to settle down in urban places. I believe, Wrong verb form
decide
this
has a negative impact on people
's lives and I discuss this
in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, moving to cities
would not only increase traffic congestion but also
rise
environmental obstacles. To clarifyCorrect your spelling
raise
it
, Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
like travelling to their
work by their own vehicle so every family moving to Correct pronoun usage
apply
city
would add the number of Add an article
the city
vehicle
on the road which becomes the cause of increasing air pollution in the urban Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
areas
. For example
, International
News survey has shown that 55% of rural families had moved to Correct article usage
an International
cities
in 2023 which are t
responsible for rising Verb problem
is
in
Change preposition
apply
the
traffic problems Correct article usage
apply
as well as
environmental issues. Consequently
, urban residents will suffer more in coming
years if Correct article usage
the coming
people
keep moving in those areas
.
Secondly
, land shortages would be rising if more house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
are
built in the Wrong verb form
were
cities
. In another words
, Replace the adjective
another word
other words
people
who really desire to build house
in the urban Fix the agreement mistake
houses
areas
they are not only reserve land of
recreational Change preposition
for
areas
where parks and other areas
should be built for people
who can relax and enjoy themselves but also
decrease the chance of open spaces where people
might take a breath of openness. In Japan, for instance
, cities
are congested with houses and people
don
not have open spaces to feel Correct your spelling
do
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
as well as
they have to travel countryside
to get a break from Add an article
the countryside
hustle
and bustle. Correct article usage
the hustle
As a result
, a lot of money is spent on travelling to get a
experience of greenery and Change the article
an
natural
environment by urban Correct article usage
the natural
people
.
In conclusion, people
are suffering from many obstacles in cities
due to
rising
population in these Correct article usage
the rising
areas
where there is lack
of natural beauty and open Correct article usage
a lack
areas
so people
commute more to connect themselves with nature.Submitted by maninderdeep on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction
Ensure your introduction presents the topic and your thesis clearly, providing a framework for the reader to understand your upcoming arguments. Try to use a hook to engage the reader.
Main Points Support
Develop your main points succinctly and support them with specific examples or data. Avoid vague statements and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates to the thesis.
Logical Structure
Work on utilizing transition words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Establish clear relationships between your ideas to strengthen the logical progression of your argument.
Conclusion
Strive for a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your key points and restates your thesis, tailored to the development of your essay. Avoid introducing new arguments or ideas in the conclusion.
Task Completion
Address all parts of the task question to ensure a complete response. Stay focused on the essay prompt, and make sure every point you make directly relates to the topic and your thesis.
Example Relevance
Back your ideas with precise and relevant examples. Try to incorporate statistics, real-world instances, or quotes from credible sources to substantiate your points and make your arguments more convincing.