Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are the best at or they are most interested in. To what extent do you agree?

#people #teenagers #subjects #school #focus

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Education at school provides a variety of subjects so that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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young ages can learn numerous studies,

while

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some people argue that they need to focus on the fields linked to their passions and interests. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the way of giving them a chance to choose only one aspect because it can lead them to positive developments,

such

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as being satisfied and a stable prospect. Allowing them to opt for particular fields would give them more opportunities to fully unleash their abilities.

This

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will increase their pleasure during the learning process rather than forcing them to delve into things that they are not resonated with.

For instance

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, a student who wants to concentrate on arts could potentially have a bright future in the aspect that he is attracted to as he can view varied opportunities to express his passions.

Hence

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, the more passionate they are with the subjects, the more successful and satisfied they would become.

Furthermore

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, they would certainly acquire a stable career since they would not get exposed

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boredom or a stressful life, which can affect their

perfomances

Correct your spelling

performance

performances

Correct article usage

the workplaces

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workplaces

Fix the agreement mistake

workplace

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. To exemplify, a doctor who actually enjoys history and

initially

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wants to be a teacher would hardly survive in her career as she can not release her capabilities in her current job.

Thus

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, if the students choose the subject

that is

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suitable for them, they will have a long-lasting career.

To conclude

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, more positive implications will be made if the students can freely choose the studies that they desire the most, which

facilitate

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facilitates

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them a place to unlock their capabilities and

also

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bring them a better work living in the future.

Submitted by hanalyaa29 on Sat Dec 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance clarity, focus on the consistency of arguments across the essay. Avoid introducing new ideas in conclusions or body paragraphs that are not supported by the introduction.

task achievement

When presenting examples, ensure they directly illustrate key points and strengthen the argument. Consider balancing the examples by referring to more general themes or evidence.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion and restate the main points without unnecessary repetition.

task achievement

You have effectively used specific examples to bolster your viewpoint, demonstrating clear relevance to the overall argument.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

well-rounded education
versatile skill set
personal development
future career opportunities
identify strengths
satisfying career
successful career
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
academic burnout
diverse curriculum
learning experience
engaging and stimulating
solid grounding
well-rounded individuals
diverse conversations
different perspectives

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Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are the best at or they are most interested in. To what extent do you agree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Some people argue that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Currently, some countries' populations include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?